Prelude ~ Fade

A Chapter by Caradoc

"Right or wrong. Can't hold onto the fear that I'm lost without you. If I can't feel, I'm not mine, I'm not real..." -The Only One, Evanescence

Cold.

It was everywhere; creeping along the flesh of his toes, biting at his bones. It seeped in through his pores, crawling behind his eyes, invading every part of him. He couldn't escape it; there was nowhere to turn, no place to hide from it.

Darkness had swallowed everything, including every one of his senses. He futilely tried to move but the cold and dark had stolen his limbs. In a panic he attempted to open his eyes but they were gone. He couldn't see. In horror, scattered memory shared the visceral sensation of how it felt as his eyes had melted in their sockets. The black was like some terrible acid. Desperation claimed him and he threw open his mouth striving to inhale, to breath, to scream. Nothing happened. The chill and the endless nothingness he was trapped within consumed that too.

There was nothing that he could do, nothing left for him to try. And through it all, as his heart hammered in his chest, there was one thing, one single piece of knowledge that shredded his sanity like a ravenous beast.

The darkness was starving. And it had begun to eat him alive.

But he couldn't let it. There were things still left undone; important things, important someones. He was needed. Even as the black devoured him, he clung to that. Light existed somewhere, even in the deepest darkness, and they brought it. He fought past the misery, searching for anything that would hold off the coming of oblivion; fragmented memories, errant thoughts that had seemed trivial before, and faces belonging to special people.

A scene flashed before him, a flickering spark of awareness in his sea of confusion; a darkened theater and a tall brunette in the closest seat near him. She turned, flashing him a supportive smile as she sucked on the straw of her drink. Blue-green eyes lit up with genuine affection as her lips moved, half forgotten words whispering out.

"Forget about them, sunshine. Just hold your head up high and walk away like a boss."

Warmth filled him at the sight, and it drew him back. He knew that face, that voice. There was a name attached to it, but the dark had devoured it. It must be reclaimed, but he didn't know how, or if it was possible; he couldn't even remember his own name. Still, he searched harder, looking for more lights.

There was a sudden shift and then a bright monitor glared at him in the darkness of his room. He gazed at the screen, reading words from a chatroom. His heart beat quicker in his chest.

"Yea...they died years ago. I've only written a few poems about them..."

And his response; "I'm sorry. Still...it was a beautiful piece. You should write more."

Chocolate colored eyes appeared out of the darkness, peering at him from a face that was pale and lightly dusted with freckles. Hair that was both light and dark brown, with a streak of burgundy framed that face. He was overwhelmed by a sense of urgency, a need to protect, but he was helpless. As he watched, her eyes bled to orange-red, and then began to glow crimson. The face grew even more pale, her freckles nearly fading, as tears of actual blood welled up at the corners of her eyes and spilled down her cheeks.

"Don't you dare die on me,” she said, voice thick with emotion. "I'm holding on as best as I can, but I can feel you slipping. Come back to us!"

He wanted to, but the darkness was all around. It wanted him and he couldn't remember her name, couldn't remember his name.

Who are you? He thought, feeling the emptiness tugging at him. There was only the barest thread remaining to connect him to whatever it was that was still there. He sensed the hungering shadows gloating, felt their eagerness. They had almost won. All he had left was his confusion. He was exhausted and in so much pain. He wanted it to end.

Who am I?

A flicker of light in the black. “You can't have him, goddammit!” the other woman's voice roared. “It's not his time! Come back! Jude, don't let go!”

Rachel, he thought, and the light flared again, lasting longer this time. She belonged to the chocolate brown eyes, the freckles. The other...the blue-green gaze, and loving smile, Tanya. And he...he belonged to Jude.

No...not Jude. Judas...my name is Judas...

Shadows writhed in anger and he felt himself torn from their grasp. Light flooded his vision.

next chapter

© 2017 Caradoc

Author's Note

A revision of the original prologue that was attached to chapter one. I believe this does a better job at foreshadowing and giving focus to what I ultimately intend this story to be.