I Will Survive

Tears were shed
hearts broken
but it doesn't matter
it never does
What else can you expect
when you live in a paradise tainted by sin

I lay in a shallow grave
Lost
Tendrils of cold enter into my flesh
grip my bones
Like fingers of death they try to engulf me
steal my soul
I shiver through clenched teeth
but I refuse to move

Stubborn
I stare at the sky and it stares back at me
Heartless
Uncaring
Indifferent to the sufferings of man

I want to cry out to you
shout your name into the heavens
But it's too late
you walked away and I let you go
You were never mine to start with
yet I carried you in my heart

I looked into your eyes
drowned in their mysteries
I tried to save myself
to escape the turbulent sea of emotion
that I had fallen into
But it was too late
your kiss sealed my fate
your touch seared me
left its mark upon my soul

I wait for death
but it refuses to come
Life forces itself upon me
demands my presence

I scream in frustration
as the doorway to heaven
is closed before me
and I am made once again
to enter into the world of the flesh

My heart aches for you
but I know I have to let you go
to survive
The choice is not mine
it was made for me an eon ago
when time stood still
and eternity held its breath
waiting for creation to begin

For now I must carry on
finish the work
that has been laid out before me

I turn and look upon the shallow grave
that had me in the grip of despair
Where death once opened its gapping mouth to me
now life grows in abundance

I smile despite the pain I still feel
for always the will to live
is stronger than the need to die
Still the pain of a broken heart
is not enough to kill me

I know I will go on
No matter what pain
the world throws at me
I know I will survive

Reviews

[chandlerl]

Wow, I can't even pick a stanza I like, I loved the whole thing. And I don't think it's just because I haven't slept tonight. ...this morning. When I read the title, honestly, the song 'I will survive' popped into my head and I was like, 'ugh'. But every word placement, stanza, fits. 'paradise tainted by sin' what a perfect phrase to explain our predicament as life on earth. Life carrying on with or without you, you strongly choosing to go through motions, even if that's all it is. UGH...I LOVED IT! lol...Favorited in my library.

[Carolann Dowsett]

Wow thanks so much that means a lot to me

[quinfinn]

often, you write of the pain of unrequited love and the emotional whirlwind which can consume a person after the fall...the indecision, fear, shame and torrents of other feelings which you capture so well make me relive my own experiences, thereby making your writes profoundly intimate for me. it is for these reasons that your writing affects me so deeply. beautiful writing.

[Carolann Dowsett]

Thank you so much.

[Ahmad Cox]

Very poignant and beautiful and so powerful a message and intention. I absolutely loved this one. Thanks for sharing such an honest poem.

[Carolann Dowsett]

Thank you. Glad you enjoyed.

[Richard Man]

If you can see the perfection in a cracked cup (a Zen thought) or the good in a condemned man... (as Christ did on the cross with the repentant thief) you will not see paradise tainted by imperfection but rather the sin purified by the light. Deep down I know you do. That is what the last stanza is saying.

[Carolann Dowsett]

Maybe :-) Nice way to look at it.

[Dr. Wood ?]

very emotional.....very GOOD

[Carolann Dowsett]

Thank you :)

[Overrated-World]

Shows how strong you are. Such a great poem that shows deep emotions.

[Carolann Dowsett]

Thank you :)

[Aly]

Loved this.
A realtionship described in the ups and the downs.

[Carolann Dowsett]

Thanks Aly :)

[hmarieee]

great poem, very nicely written. it was a pleasure to read it.

[Carolann Dowsett]

Thank you so much.

[Jack...]

I like the message of this poem, the strength and the fortitude. Satnd up for your beliefs, realize that life is worth living and rejoice that all is as it was meant to be. Carolann, wonderful work here.

[Carolann Dowsett]

Thanks Jack means a lot.

[Emerald Seas]

Nothing like being ripped open by grief and a broken heart, feeling so raw and exposed, and have it all be for not. A heart wrenching poem that I'm sure was much more difficult to spill on the page. 4th stanza - fabulous!

[Carolann Dowsett]

Thank you so much.

[Frieda P]

There's always strength and conviction in your words, this is no different, I kept hearing 'we will overcome' in the back of my head whilst reading this. Always a pleasure to read a poem of survival. Nice one.

[Carolann Dowsett]

Thanks so much Frieda.

[Frieda P]

My pleasure, I'm always hoping some of your conviction and strength will rub off on me through osmosis by reading. ;-)

[Carolann Dowsett]

You are stronger than you think Frieda, just look at how far you`ve come so far. Never give up or they win.

[Frieda P]

I know, that's always foremost in my mind, sometimes you just don't feel that strength though, you know how that goes....I'm tired of being strong! ;-)

[Carolann Dowsett]

Yes exactly! But what choice do we have.

[Frieda P]

NONE< I just wanted to b***h about it! ;-)

[Carolann Dowsett]

Lol b***h away Frieda you`ve earned the right. xx

[Frieda P]

ha ;-D don't mind me, tomorrow's a tough anniversary, I'm dreading it, and having conniptions already....

[Carolann Dowsett]

Oh im sorry to hear thar i know how hard they can be. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

[Frieda P]

Thanks Carolann, much appreciated xo

[Carolann Dowsett]

XX