Concrete angel

Just words

                                    Concrete angel


It was a Spring morning in Austin, Texas in 1995. Yearly poetry weekend was here. My favorite time of the year. My only attempt at verbal poetry for me when I was stationed in Texas.  I arrived early and I added my name to the back-up readers. Many people came early and I went to the nearby coffee shop near to the reading. It was filled with the College students. I ordered my coffee and I looked for a free seat. Only free seat was lone pretty woman with auburn hair and serious looking hazel eyes. I went to the table and I asked her. Could I sit here please? She gave me a hard look and she told me. You can if you don't bother me with useless conversation. I smiled and I told her. I promise to be mute as a butterfly. I will just write poetry and hold silence. She gave me a odd smile and she agreed. She gave me motivation to write and I wrote a poem for her.
---

                      Concrete angel

You whispered to me. Life and love is.
Bleeding and damnation.
Sweetness and the taste of bitterness.
Knowing hate and accepting love pain.
Knowing the liar prayer and accepting less.
Learning the night whispers are meaningless in the morning light.
Men are just lovers, Poets and writers and liars.
After we know a 1000 lies.
We learn.
Better to be a concrete angel than
to know disappointment and heartbreak
----

My eyes rose-up from the poem and I saw her watching me. She asked. You believe you are a poet? Are you the Hemingway of Austin, Texas?  I smiled and I told her. Not Hemingway yet. I still need a few more wars and more ladies to dance with in Paris. She laughed at my comment and she asked. What did you write just now? I smiled and I read the poem to her. Her eyes become less cold and she asked. Do you believe this is me? Or do you write garbage to tempt the foolish girls? I told her. I need reasons to write. You were just my muse for the poem. I have known you for a few seconds. Woman show men little. They are the mystery of life. Few woman show real self to another. She looked my face over and she asked. Are you here for the poetry reading?

I told her yes. I wrote some more words into my journal.

                        ---
                         Concrete angel

Piercing cold eyes seeking nothing and everything.
She did not want the pledge of love no-more.
Dead love bury and gone.
Make the lonely days less painful she whispered to me.
She wished in nightly private prayers.
For love and hope to rise in her heart and mind.
Lonely tears and silence was her final place and dead-end.
Fair maiden knew hope and held sweet dreams.
Now the concrete angel want nothing and everything.
----
I handed the poem to her and I told her my name was Johnnie. Almost Hemingway, maybe more Donne than Hemingway.
She read the poem and she gave me a slight smile. She whispered my name is Angela and I'm glad you interrupted me. I need someone to make me laugh today. Are you alone in Austin today? I smiled and I told her. I was this morning. Maybe you would enjoy the poetry reading. Many of us are up and coming Hemingway and Donne. I would enjoy your company.
She smiled and she agreed. We left the coffee shop together and she surprised me. She took my hand and we walked in silence to the Austin, Texas poetry reading.

                            John Castellenas/Coyote

Author's Note

Just words.

Reviews

[TerryDarcy-Ryan akaSh..]

You had me at, "Knowing hate and accepting love pain" this line stirred something just under my calm surface, "Knowing the liar prayer and accepting less" now I'm hit but I'm all in I'm committed to the end. What honest, deep words with such a sadness, but at the same time I find these words so liberating. We can be 100% real, with a past keeping us humble and yet never stop reaching for the beauty in another despite what has been broken. What A truly Beautiful Poem. Perfection for many reasons. There is one thing, you frame up the male species as a real shady character. My friend,
sex has no place when It come to breaking hearts I have met equally bad people trying to destroy each other. Just my opinion. Coyote you Rock !!
Love it !! God Bless

Sheer Terror

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you my friend. I appreciate the comment. Also woman can be shady. I knew a few shady ladies.

[Ana Papaya]

I can absolutely sympathize with the woman. So often women get hit on that we have our backs up often. I enjoyed read this story and the gradual softening. Beautiful work.

[Coyote Poetry]

I became better withe the woman when I didn't need them so much. When I prefer conversation and talented people. Woman don't like desperate men. Need to find equal ground. Thank you Ana for reading and the comment.

[Ana Papaya]

Yes, you're exactly right. It happens naturally...

[Coyote Poetry]

You are right dear Ana.

[Paul Bell]

Now that's how you do it. No fangled chat up line.
Just silent writing, and the curiosity of a woman.
Hope the reading went down well.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are right Paul. Woman don't want a desperate man. Thank you for reading and the comment.

[Patricia Wedel]

dear John... this is a wonderful poem
and appropriately entitled. Reminds me of the cement gargoyles that sit on ledges of the great Cathedrals... perhaps angels in disguise. Two souls holding hands on their way to a poetry reading. truly mesmerized... Pat

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you dear Pat. People need human contact. If even for a second only.

[Patricia Wedel]

You are welcome, John... May your Easter be blessed with lots of bunny hugs. hugs Pat

[Ken Simm.]

There is a lovely gentleness to this story John. I really like how you have developed this personal style. How you seamlessly combine verse and prose without loosing the flow of either. Excellent.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Ken. I appreciate the comment. I loved my free days of youth. Roaming, learning and befriended new people.

[Ruth]

You always have such a softness to your prose, the poetry within reminds the reader that love is not extinct and takes many forms. I like to travel through your writing, there is always something to learn from it, beautiful :)

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Poppy. We know. We must be kind to earth and each other. People who want to use and abuse our earth and us. Can leave great pain.

[Ruth]

Very true...kindness and love is the only way to heal the divide and be at peace :)