How Did You Feel

How did you feel 
when you knocked me down 
did your heart feel  proud 

Did you laugh out loud 
as I fell to the ground 
Hitting the floor
without a sound 

As you trampled my body
in the pale moonlight 
Danced with the devil 
in the shadows of the night 

As I laid in the stench 
of your wicked deceit
Cold and broken 
lost in defeat 

Were you proud of yourself 
when your fists hit my flesh 
When you strangled me 
until I was close to death

Did you feel like a man 
when you stole my breath 
When my face turned blue 
and my strength had left 

How does it feel 
knowing I'd be dead
From the drug induced madness 
flowing through your head 

If it wasn't for the one 
who rescued me 
Who broke down the door 
and set me free

How would it feel
to have my blood on your hands 
Would you feel real proud 
like a big tough man 

Instead of the pathetic creature 
that you really are 
Just a  low life coward 
who likes to leave scars 

Reviews

[emmajoy]

So much pain. Your words just weep the would.be page. In spite of the terrible scenes you've set, the courage with which you write is very special, it shows spirit alongside the cruelty you've experienced, The actual wording is precise, not overly emotional, that makes this post very vivid.

[Carolann Dowsett]

Thank you so much Emma Joy.

[Distant horizons]

A bully is nothing more than a impotent coward taking out their anger at their own incompetencies on those around them. They should be strung up and humiliated for the low life scum they are.
A very difficult topic, which needs to be spoken, spoken so eloquently.

[Carolann Dowsett]

Thank you so much.

[Distant horizons]

:-)

[Carolann Dowsett]

:-)

[Overrated-World]

Wow. Just shows how you can dig yourself into those old memories and turn them into pieces of work. :) deep emotions and its a pretty harsh piece but its good. :)

[Carolann Dowsett]

Thanks so much.

[Baby Ricochet]

That's some heavy verse lady. It's got some impact, that's for sure.

[Carolann Dowsett]

Thank you Mark.

[Inda]

Wow, this is raw! I love it, i wouldn't change anything here, anger and fury captured perfectly, great piece!

[Carolann Dowsett]

Thank you so much Inda.

[Tate Morgan]

As I laid in the stench
of your wicked deceit
Cold and broken
lost in defeat

this is the best line in the piece as i see it

[Carolann Dowsett]

Thanks so much Tate.

[therisa]

As a transwoman (male to female), your hits me, on several levels. For I have been on the receiving end of such beatings by a love one. While at the same time, witnessed my mom being beaten, as well, by this same love one. Except, no one rescused us. The scars, which were left behind can never be seen, by the naked eyes. As I still haunted by flashback to the summer of '85.

[Carolann Dowsett]

I'm sorry to hear that. It does leave terrible scars. Thank you for reading.

[therisa]

Wish that others didn't have to suffer such experience, like I have.

[Carolann Dowsett]

Same.

[David Lewis Paget]

Powerful and hard hitting, but also very well written. Women experience things that men can only conjecture about. All the more reason for men to contain their anger, at whatever cost . Mechanically, why only three lines in the first verse, when the rest are quatrains? That gives it a false start before galloping off with the strict rhyme and metre. Well done.

[Carolann Dowsett]

Thanks David. I'm not sure why that's just the way it came out. I'm not much into the mechanics of things, though maybe I should be.

[Salar Majak]

this is a really truly vengeful write,
wow!! beautiful!

(If it wasn't for the one
who rescued me
Who broke down the door
and set me free)

i wonder who you're talking about here XD
anyways, the emotions fly off this poem!
BEAUTIFUl!

[Carolann Dowsett]

Thanks so much Sal.

[Salar Majak]

:D

[Aehr]

Carolann, I can believe that the incident you have described here is true, the emotion is just so strong. Amazing portrayal. An awesome job. :D

[Carolann Dowsett]

Thanks so much Rhea.

[Aehr]

no problem :)

[quinfinn]

it has always been my very intense belief that any man who abuses a woman or a child should be forced to dress like a cheap female w***e and forced to run a gauntlet of angry, mistreated women armed to the teeth with baseball bats, straight razors and leather whips. the humiliation alone would suffice to bring them down a few notches, but the beating they take may indeed be fatal, and probably well deserved . chilling and profound write, very well expressed!

[Carolann Dowsett]

Thank you so much.

[quinfinn]

you are welcome