My Secret Life

Please listen closely
To what I have to say
You make think of me lowly
But there is no other way

You see
I have a bit of history
Trust me
I would love to keep the mystery

But that would solve nothing
And my friend in you would leave
So instead I write this thing
So I won't have to grieve

I guess I'll start by telling you
How this all started
See my father was a man who
Kept us all from being parted

By us I mean my family
One with many misfortunes
Though we coped quite handily
They left us with distortions

It is sad
But its still true
My father made people mad
And made my mother quite blue

This caused most of our negatives
The events left unsolved
He is remembered for the hardships he gives
And the problems he caused

Even though he is dead
We still give him the blame
I don't remember a word he said
Although I still carry his name

Now a question
I'm sure arises
The level of my hesitation
Constantly growing in sizes

See I have yet to let go
A problem with accepting
For in me his blood does flow
Though I still recall his ending

A day I won't forget
No matter how I feel
A fate so many have met
A fate that caused mine to seal

My birthday is the end of May
His death was the start of June
I'm haunted by the very day
I lose sleep and look towards the moon

The day was just like any other
That night was what had changed
I still hear the screams of my brother
Sounding as if he were deranged

My sister only cried
Though I was unable
To learn our father had died
I dreamed it were a fable

I can remember every detail
Every passing second
The pain when I exhale
My life forever threatened

He was murdered the morning
By a man he called his friend
Without the slightest warning
All my happiness did end

Stabbed until he was no more
Until life abandoned him
The wounds numbered sixty-four
And made my life forever grim

No one had expected it
No one had a clue
To my sadness I did submit
To my happiness I bid adieu

This event has left me broken
It has led to much mistrust
Causing me to be cold and frozen
And do things that are unjust

One day I will come to
I'll accept the lost
And be born anew
Allowing me to defrost

So that is the story
In all its horrible glory.

Author's Note

This is entire thing was true. I wrote it so I would be able to cope with the events that happened.

Reviews

[Kayla K]

Thank you for sharing this. It's beautiful and touching to hear another persons story

[Cara Rosalie]

Christoph...

Pardon me; After reading the reviews, I am left very angry. Your poem made my heart lurch, my eyes sting and my chest fill with empty space. I get that Writer's Cafe is foremost a writing site, but before that we are human beings. If you don't mind, I would prefer not to tell you "Well done" or "Great job with this" It would just feel hollow and lacking compassion.

You wrote this for you, just for you. Not to be praised on your rhyming or great flow. That -- in it's obvious blatancy -- was not the point and I'm sorry so many did not get it.

Your honesty and openness touched me deeply. I won't even begin to say I understand, or even that I can imagine, because I simply can't. I hope I am not being too bold when I say, I am praying for you. Your beautiful soul is scarred and wounded with afflictions that may never completely heal. However, I know there is joy to be had and I will pray for that and peace for you.

Thank you, Christoph, for sharing this very vulnerable piece of your life.

Cara

[Sanjeeta Sharma Pokhar..]

Heart touched !!!

[Sanjeeta Sharma Pokhar..]

Good use of Oxymoron :) [ Horrible Glory]

[Ashley]

this is so depressing. however, i hope it helped you to relive some stress when u wrote it wonderfully! great job. 100 babe

[Victoria Thornton]

Gripping. I love this!!!

~!Be Your Own Hero!~

[Miss Anna]

The mixing of structural writing and pure emotion here is crazy impressive. You did a great job, and you're right- it's a good outlet and I'm glad you found it. This is some heavy stuff, I hope that writing helped you get through.

[Misty Blue Eyes]

wow this is strong, potent stuff. i have felt this more then once. i love how long your poem was. great job and great detail.

[FaithfullyJennyBear]

I understand what you mean, my dad died when I was 3, yet I was not old enough to feel the pain, I'm sorry for your loss, your poem is amazing, the ryhming pattern throughout is kept up, not a disappontment in each stanza, all I can say is it's amazing but the meaning is very sad x

[Skoo.]

I am literally awestruck at how you managed to pour your heart out into the poem, yet you've still kept it to an effective rhyming pattern...
Your words actually echo in my head... The poem is haunting and amazing.
Despite how great the poem itself is, I'm sorry for your loss. I can't exactly empathise, but I can sympathise, and I am glad you've found a way to express how you feel without lashing out and hurting others. (: