Gone

Why did you go away?

Where did we go wrong?

Weren't we ok?

We always laughed,

held hands...loved

How did we go from

There to here?

You left so that I can pursue

MY DREAM

But what you didn't realize

Was that my dream always

Included You!

Now that Dream is gone,

And I'm left with a memory

 

I'm so scared right now!

Scared of being alone

Scared of living without you

But living without you

Isn't really living at all

Now is it?

When I looked into my future

I saw you! When I saw myself

Succeeding, I saw you there helping me

Now I see nothing, it all went black

The only reason I knew I was going

To make it in this world, was because

I saw you helping me...loving me.

 

Now I don't know how I'm

Going to make it

How am I going to get through this?

You were the one I went to when I had a problem,

So who am I suppose to go to now?

I'm so confused!

I'm so alone,

Where do I go from here?

I don't know what to do

All I know is that you're gone

And you're not coming back!

Author's Note

Again can you please just review the writing and not give me sympathy. Thanks

Reviews

[H. A. M.]

What I like about it is the hoest emotion you put in this.
For me writing things that make me seem vurnerable to the reader is something I'm trying to get past. I just want to convey a thought even if I'm not feeling it at the time of writing.
IF ( said if) I read between the lines it's like someone wasn't really there for the other.

"You left so that I can pursue
MY DREAM" sounds like the one who's gone said " I'm in the way" or "I'm not getting enough attention so let me go do something like... join the marines."
Yes I'm building a story now.
They didn't die but just went out of state....maybe the country.
The rest sounds like longing regret because they just didn't see it coming.
That could happen.
Involved with the swim team or killing vampires or whatever this person did for fun and the one stable person in their life blindsides them and takes off.
Like what the...?
A case of didn't know what they had til it was gone.
Yes I feel that desperate panic at the end. That makes sense.
It has the emotion of a person afraid of the world now.
Hmmm... I haven't seen too many like this. Good how you can draw from someplace to put this out.
Very....emotional write.

[Jofer Serapio]

I've always loved the sincerity and the emotions you put into your work. I've always been a fan. The pieces I've read in your portfolio all appealed to me, connected and related to me well, even though I haven't experienced most of what your work made me feel. I do understand, not by experience but by observation, that emotions are well played in a piece when the writer can make the reader relate to his or her piece. I believe you've been doing that since the first time I've read your work.

This piece was well written. Your choice of words, the imagery and the sincerity of the emotions worked well together. The narration of a story was always brilliant. It was like you were speaking directly to me, retelling your story in your own words to my own heart.

Confusion, love, doubts...

You make me fall for tragedy over and over again.

"I'm so scared right now!
Scared of being alone
Scared of living without you"

This was the best line I've read this week. Thanks for sharing and keep up the good work. =P

[forfila]

This greif can be all part of healing and I know you will be fine Claudia. Well written, you seem to be able to reach the core of your heart at your command, a gift many wish they had I bet.
Nice write sweetness.
Love
Me

[Autumn Dawn Gorny]

A very sad poem about how we think of our future with the present company and how change shatters it. Well done.

[Sean M. Addams]

very good read ... lots of great imagery of emotion... nice job on this one.

[Amanda]

nice expression of emotions here....breaking up with someone you love is never easy, it's the moving on part that always seems to be scary....i know.

a really good poem, chica.

love ya,

Mandy

This was good. I liked the emotions that came from your writing. I thought the second stanza was very powerful! Great poem!