Paper Heart

First Poem I've Ever Written- I'm NEW at This. My oldest daughter is facing a heart transplant, thus Paper Heart. Maybe there's some things about her in there; just my frustration.

Paper Heart

She was born into a world that didn’t deserve her.
Too many years without a kindness,
She holds in tears but feels the pain,
Of the words that kept her tightly contained.
The Lepers
filled her soul with shame
But now she's running to search for grace,
She’s out of breath, and barely breathing.

But the fire will surround them.
And the dragon will roar.
She could slay it and slap it
But they would laugh and want even more.

The mighty river of humanity flows
like a savior we cannot see.
It follows a path from the heavens,
to the seas around mountain peaks,
Lifts her up like a peaceful dream.

Just follow the path of dignity.  

But remember if you have spoken words to defeat the meek,
only a dark jungle you will see.
Blinded by ashes and smoke into the pit of pity you will go.
And the fire that surrounds them, is higher than the heavens,
divided by the words that devoured her.

Her heartbeat has a peaceful rhythm,
One she has never known
For now she has hope and freedom,
But they have only fear because they deceived her.

Sanctified by the light that guides her,
The mighty river of humanity flows,
like the savior we cannot see,
Her bright light will always glow,

This is her destiny.
She is you.  She is me.

Author's Note

Hey, I just quickly wrote this. I'm not a poet; but would like to express myself and learn from you guys. And of course, it's much more than that. I have tried to write song lyrics - and sometimes something, sounds okay; but I am trying to write poetry. Thank you.

Reviews

[Bear]

Not a poet you say, I think you are mistaken. First, just what is a poet? A poet is anyone who has something they want to express, be it an idea, observation or feeling, which is pretty much everyone. Not everyone expresses it in written words but they still have the need to be see, heard or felt. A trick I use to use on people who said they couldn't write poetry was to show them a picture and ask them questions about it. Things like what was the first thing they saw and what did the picture make them feel, just random questions like that and I would save their answers. Then I would reconstruct their answers so they fit in a poem form and read them back and they were shocked to find it was their words I read back to them. So not a poet you say, Ha! After reading a few of your poems I find you a rather accomplished poet and I want to thank you for letting the rest of us enjoy your art.

[dan]

Dale, Though this piece seems so complex (and knowing about your dear daughter), I view it as a parent pouring out all the contents of the heart, all of the familial pain and helplessness that accompanies an offspring's illness. I don't believe any type of attempt at analyzing the words will yield what this parent feels. I'm just honored she let me share her doubt, her vulnerability in the face of this monstrous truth. My heart goes out to the daughter as well as the parent. take care...dan

[Jimmy Yetts]

Authentic perceptions articulately expressed.
Quite a first offering, Dale!

[bsheph06]

This poem is incredible. I am noticing that your imagery is superb. Keep up the great work, you are a natural

[Olumegbon]

Really nice, searched for it because you said it was your first poem and to be honest, I'm impressed. Nice one

[Confuser]

Thank you Olumegbon; it is my first poem. I have no reason to lie, I would be too afraid of Karma, it bites. I am new and trying to learn. I am a Mother that is finally finding some time, getting up very early to read, write and learn. Like I am from you and other. Thank you again.

[Terrence Chang]

I thank my destiny to bring me here. I hope your eldest daughter is now well and has a heart of lion. I would like to know if she is running wild in the world. A mother's heart is like the softest feathers to touch but when its time to protect, she becomes the hardest material ever known to man. And even it is your first writing, it is one the best. Cause no matter what, you wrote it your emotions and heart. And that is what truly matters, at least for me. I am deeply touched.

[Confuser]

You make me smile and cry. You are such a kind wise young man. My daughter has not received her heart transplant. She is beautiful and strong. You can look at her on my facebook page; blonde hair, beautiful inside and out. DaleSpringsMitchum, her name is CathySnipes on facebook.

[Terrence Chang]

Is the cover photo of her? She looks happy with a naughty smile like is is up to something but never the less cute. How old is she?

[Confuser]

Chang, I don't know where you looked; she's married and too old for you. Hehehe! On my page, if you look in folders there's a picture, bright blonde hair, blue eyes. I'll show you later.

[Terrence Chang]

OK I thought she was a kid like may be 10 to 12 years old. Anyway I got it wrong. Sorry for the miscommunication Dale

[Confuser]

I will guide you; just don't go on there often, so I'll have to see on my page, or her page where her pictures are.

[Terrence Chang]

OK fine by me

[Confuser]

Hey, just confirmed your friendship. See my pictures; she is there with the blonde hair and blue eyes. Also, she is in the left corner/black & white sticking her tongue out acting silly.

[Simran Kewlani]

This being your first piece, trust me it is much better than mine. Infact, it is really good. I still cannot write so well and I have been writing for like three years now. I have so much to learn from you. Like how you have maintained the rhythm irrespective of how long your poem is. I just cannot do that, it's close to impossible for me to write something even close to this. Keep going, you are doing an amazing job.

P.S- If I were you, I would write these and get them published, they are too good to be kept hidden. x

[Confuser]

Thank you, I wrote this for my oldest daughter. I do copywrite; you are the first I've told here; my son said to, but as for publishing, silly, i am a novice, but I'm certain you sell yourself short! You have a lifetime to compile and write and certain you will publish; hope I see that! Hands together bowing to you!

[Simran Kewlani]

Haha don't make me feel bad by saying that. You may be inexperienced but you yet are the experienced because your experience is what makes you write all this. Don't think too small of yourself. You are amazing. And yes, I really do hope to get my poems published, I hope for my dream to come true. Thanks a lot for saying those words. It really touched my heart. :) x

[Confuser]

Simran, will never lie to you. Try never to, even white lies are scary, Karma bites back! I believe you will be a published author. Thank you also for the bio on Emily D- I need to read more of her poetry. Thanks. Bye Dale

[Simran Kewlani]

You're most welcome. :)
I will make sure of that. x

[Simran Kewlani]

You're most welcome. :)
I will make sure of that. x

[Confuser]

Bye. ....................Dale

[Don't just B, but B ama..]

For your first piece, very good, it defiantly takes the reader on a journey. I would not have guessed the reason if you had not revealed it though. Which only made it all the more touching. Keep writing, hope she is well. Thanks, for sharing.

[Benita-Staebell M - Kin..]

Just follow the path of dignity.

But remember if you have spoken words to defeat the meek,
only a dark jungle you will see.




Not when we are
strong but when we are weak God is most
strongest and when we feel weak he gives us
his power and strength.




Truly wise and true words I do hope that
things are better there can be some heartless
and cruel souls in this world it is sad really.



I do have a question why are you
the Confuser you pen name when God
isn't a God of Confusion is my Question.



This doesn't Confuse me at all I understand
what this is saying here.
She knows, the confusers are losers.





Thank you for sharing such a Strong
powerful piece and Heart breaking as well
sorry you had to write it in these Circumstances.




God Bless. Benita

[Confuser]

What? What? & What? First poem I wrote for my daughter who has to have a heart transplant - Why would you assume - the word "Confuser" I penned, just popped in, would mean, I think I am a loser. As to your question about using a pen name like "Confuser." Signed up quickly, but there are a lot of NUTS in this world and it is quite possible I do not want them to know my name. Please, I'm glad you are at peace with God, but so am I; don't need to be preached at. Thank you BENITA. And by the way, my Mother gave me my name; there wasn't a divine intervention: Just because it is called my Christian name, I don't even use my first name.

[Confuser]

Guten Tag.........................................................................No problem.

[Benita-Staebell M - KindredPoet]

I just asked question I didn't ask for your name I didn't mean Confuser in the poem but I do hope I didn't offend you by asking that well I am assuming you meant the devil as he is the loser and one that confuses but I wasn't asking that Never mind. My name Benita means Blessed. but it is ones choice to use there name and I do I have a Christian friend on here that doesn't us her real she is Im His Daughter so it is fine . I guess that is why God guides me as far as friends and I am careful of who I friend as I have meet some crazy nuts in this world not the good kind so I do understand but I have hide and run too much in my life I feel safe with god but I stay out of places I shouldn't go. I will keep you in my prayers if you would like. I hope you have a blessed night. Benita