Acts

Acts

 

She walks through green willows,

Murky rivers channels through her mind,

Old cypresses feeding atop time,

 

Limbs of the willow hang down so low,

Under grounds where her roots grow,

You lie and cut the roots feeding her,

You will die because you deceived her.

 

If she writes your names on her wall,

You meet her and blood falls,

Forked tongued men, reptilian serpents,

Dark divided seasons for no reason.

 

She does not turn the other cheek,

There is release, but no peace.

Sharp tongues and bitter mouths,

Have turned her mind inside out.

Reviews

[M.A.Rathore]

Wow! This is really a very good poem on human behaviour stray from the nature. Some of words are so harsh that shows the reality of modern world. This is a short and concised piece attracts the attention of common readers too.
Thanks for sharing so lovely piece!

[hannah]

old cypresses feeding atop time...

what a hauntingly beautiful poem! this may be short, but it is direct/raw/honest/straightforward (whichever you'd prefer, i suppose) and really has this "wow" effect. i love it!

... have turned her mind inside out

[Yasmin]

I truly like this and its story
Thank you for sharing such a wonderful write!

[Confuser]

Thank you so much Yasmin. I really appreciate you reading my work.

[Yasmin]

The pleasure is mine

[Confuser]

Y/W.................:Dale

[Confuser]

Y/W Yasmin. Thank you.......

[Yasmin]

:) :) :) :)

[icelandicblue]

The poem builds to those last two lines that have such an incredible punch:

sharp tongues and bitter mouths,
Have turned her mind inside out.

The imagery there is so vivid. I can't take my eyes off of them. Wow Confuser, love it.

[Confuser]

Thank you! Wow, coming from you and other talented writers it means so much! I will say, it's hard not to look at your beautiful smile. It is a wonderful picture.

[R Smith]

This is superb, magnificent and absolutely stunning, your growing talent is now boundless, that third stanza is a killer and this is a stand out writing both dark and light, you are a complete writer Dale :)

[Confuser]

Wow, Richard, I am smiling. I am so unsure of my writing and your praise certainly helps! I miss seeing that face, so I'm going to your site to review. You, the wonderful writer, how you can compliment and encourage me, helps so much. Really, the encouragement. You are too much of a gentleman to say otherwise. Anyway, thank you again! I'm trying.

[R Smith]

gentleman nothing, my reviews are as honest as is possible so you have to believe in you because your work is great :)

[Confuser]

I'll try to work harder, time given. Need to work more on reading. Just tried to comments on your dog cat melody, I loved and would not let me post, so I'll say it hear again. Loved it. So do my doggies, Cathy's cat, Smokey. Very vivid imagery.

[R Smith]

thanks, did get 2 comments on my dog cat poem from you, both the same lol guess they came thru in the end :)

[Confuser]

Poof, they disappeared, anyway, heard two compliments about the same poem; still love it Richard.

[armin]

a really nice write, every word had its strong impact. I liked it. Very deep, harsh and critical explanation.
If she writes your names on her wall,
You meet her and blood falls,
Forked tongued men, reptilian serpents,
Dark divided seasons for no reason.
She does not turn the other cheek,
There is release, but no peace.
Sharp tongues and bitter mouths,
Have turned her mind inside out.
Those were the strongest stanza I ever read in writerscafe.
Keep the good work coming.
Have a nice time writing.

[Confuser]

I can be harsh with my thoughts of humanity at times. And thank you armin for reading. Strongest stanza is quite a compliment! You must read more. You are a great writer!

[armin]

You are welcome.

[Stonz P.]

You have weaved a tale that appeals to people of all minds for they have gone through such a phase in their life... and the imagery is just exquisite; appealed to the mind and making me imagine..

"You lie and cut the roots feeding her,
You will die because you deceived her.

If she writes your names on her wall,
You meet her and blood falls,"
These are my favourite lines from the lot. It shows what humanity has come to, degrading life around them to make their spot clean. The last couplet also stands out to me and made me think how sometimes when I spew venom, even if in justified anger, people do get hurt by the tone.. I like such pieces which can speak to the reader..

I cannot believe you considered taking this down... Great write, different and filled with emotion which I love..

[Confuser]

Stonze, actually someone was kind enough to help me polish this write and I'm so grateful. She is humanity to me. The world is full of evil, stupid rules, liars and there is good, but ususally the corrupt succeed, thus the anger. Thank you so much for your kind review. It is greatly appreciated.

[Pushkar Prabhat]

this is about humanity/humans and the earth right???
though all the explanations below are much amusing but this was more resonant with me....
beautiful write again...
i loved it!!!
:)

[Confuser]

Pushkar, to me this is the world/the reference to nature/old cypresses etc./the earth/humanity and the lies cut abstractly, but leads us down a terrible path. Thank you so much for the review. It wasn't meant to be taken literally/like a woman. But people need to interprete to explain their emotions, maybe. I can take a review either way. I do hope someone sees a different meaning. You are a great writer. Thank you for your thoughts.

[Sanjh]

It's a nice one. I read it at least 4 times. Very strong and harsh words are used and every word is doing justice to the flow of poem.
Wonderfully written, thanks for sharing...:)

[Confuser]

You are so kind for reading Sanjh. I did try to evoke the feelings of a dishearted, plantet/person, evil exists and so does Karma. Anyway...

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

That's a poem with harsh words. I shiver and tremble when reading this poem. She's someone to fear...if you read it litteraly. Of course there's another explanation...the personification of evil, of all bad things...you can read so many things in it. But in the end she also a victim of her own deads. Very deep, Dale. Thank you for sharing. :) Rudi

[Confuser]

Thank you Rudi. So glad you had thoughts about it - other than an angry woman - I'm still learning to find myself and express myself through language.

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

My pleasure, Dale. :) Rudi