Chapter 2

Desiree opened her eyes to see the white room she was laying in. She sighed. This was not heaven. It was nothing more than a hospital room. She heard someone shift on the other side of the room and she jerked her head to look.

She yelped in pain and saw a worried Lance standing in the corner near the door. She raised an eyebrow at him and frowned as she laid her head back down on her pillow.

He walked over to her a second later, clapping, "Congratulations, Sidge. You found the one way to land that wouldn't kill you." She winced and closed her eyes in frustration.

"Look, if you're here to scold me, I suggest you leave, because I;m not really in the mood for a lecture." She told him.

He sighed and sat down at the end of the hospital bed, "Would you like anything?" He asked her.

Slowly, she rotated her head so she could see his face, "What, other than death? Look, Matthews, I know you may not like the idea of suicide, but right now, it seems like a pretty sweet option to me." Lance flinched and she grunted, "But along with death, I wouldn't be mad if you got me some water or something."

Lance laughed quietly at her request and walked out of the room. Desiree looked around for a minute before she tried lifting her arms. Utterly disappointed by the fact that not one of her limbs was going to move willingly, she yelled quietly in annoyance.

A minute later, a short doctor walked in and smiled at her, "Hello, Ms. Sigils. I know a lot of things must feel wrong to you right now, but that's why I'm here"

Desiree grunted and tried sitting up. With some difficulty and an aching pain in both her arms, she managed to get herself in an upright position. The doctor watched as she struggled and made noted on his clipboard.

The man smiled and looked up at her, "Now, you know why I'm here. Do you know why you're here?" He asked her as if she wasn't fully aware of what she'd done.

"I'm not dead, that's why I'm here. If you want more detail than that, ask Lance. He's probably lost somewhere in this building." She stated bitterly, "If you want even more than what he can tall you, ask the girl who died last week in a school shooting. She knew everything."

The doctor stopped writing and looked over his clipboard at her with a sad expression, "Ms. Sigils, the high school shooting was more than 2 and a half weeks ago."

She looked at the man in shock and laid herself back down, "Good. I'm not dead, and I wasted a week of my life passed out. Please, tell me what other great things have happened while I was out." She pleaded sarcastically.

Ignoring her complaints, the doctor asked her another question, "The boy who's been coming here, Lance as you called him, who is he to you?"

Desiree gave the man a blank expression, "I don't know. I met him a couple weeks ago when we got paired as biology partners for a presentation. I really have no idea who he is."

The doctor wrote something down once again before he looked back at her and started asking more questions, "Where are your parents? Do you know why they haven't come to visit yet?"

She laughed sarcastically before she answered, "I'd be surprised if they still remember they have a daughter, much less come visit me in the hospital. As for where they are, I think they said something about Egypt or Japan a few months ago before they left for another one of their trips around the world."

The man frowned, "So you live alone?"

She shook her head, knowing her prepared answer for this question. She'd lied about it many times before, "No, I live with my brother. He's 22 and technically has guardianship over me so my parents can  travel like they do."

Just then, there was a knock on the door. Grateful to get away from the questions, Desiree watched as the doctor opened the door to reveal Lance standing on the other side. The doctor moved to let him in, "I'll be back in a few hours so you can answer the last few questions." and with that, he was gone.

Desiree looked up at Lance with an appreciative expression. He sat down on the end of the bed and smirked, "I figured you'd want him out of here." He commented before he held out a glass of water, "Also, here."

She graciously took the cup and sipped from it. She handed it back to Lance, who set it on the side table near the bed.

Desiree stared up at him curiously, "Why are you here?" She asked, "I mean, I don't even know you and you're still here." She finished.

He shrugged and shifted so he was leaning on the bed more, "I mean, I felt kind of bad. If I was a second faster, you wouldn't be here right now." He told her cautiously.

Thinking she was going to lecture him or tell him to leave, he stood up and started walking towards the door. He stopped when she spoke.

"Thank you."

He turned around, questioning what he had heard. She smiled shyly and she continued, "I know it wasn't very convenient for me, but thanks for at least trying. I mean, you did more than anyone else was going to. I literally could have jumped off a roof while my parents were staring at me. All they would do it wonder who let their kid jump off a roof without permission."

Lance stared at her as she looked away, trying to make it look like she didn't care about anything she had said prior. There was an uncomfortable silence following her words. Wanting to end it, Desiree spoke.

"Oh, by the way, could you call someone for me?" She asked Lance. "I need someone to sign the hospital papers."

He shrugged and pulled his phone out of his back pocket. "Sure. Who is it?"

"My brother." After several attempts at calling him, Lance continuously dialed the number Desiree had told him. After about ten minutes, someone picked up.

"WHAT?" The person screamed into the phone, making Lance flinch. He put the phone on speaker and held it out in front of Desiree so she wouldn't have to told it.

She sighed, "Hey, Nathan, It's Des. I need you back in Montana so you can sign some hospital papers." She told him.

She had not completely lied about her older brother having custody over her. She only lied about him living with her.

He audibly sighed and waited for a minute before he answered, "Desiree, I'm in New York right now. Can this not wait? Also, what did you do this time?"

She hesitated before she answered his questions, "I fell. You don't have to come if you can get a hold of mom and dad and get one of them to come get me out of here, but I thought it might just be easier for you to come for a couple days. Speaking of which, where are the old people?"

"I haven't the slightest idea. I mean, they were in Egypt last week, but they called to tell me they were leaving. Of course they didn't give a name to the place they were going to, but I just assumed it wasn't here." He told her sadly. "Look, I can come get you out of the hospital if you can promise me I don't need to stay for more than a day."

She grinned, "Deal. You can leave as soon as I get out of here."

She hung up the phone and Lance took it back. Ready to leave as soon as possible, Desiree was totally fine with having her brother do the bare minimum to get her out. As long as she was free, or freer than she was.

Lance looked at her, concern gracing his face. "I don't mean to intrude, but how do you expect to take care of yourself? I mean, your legs are shattered and I don't think it'll be easy for you to get around." When she looked away and didn't answer, he glared at her, "You're not actually thinking about trying to kill yourself again, are you? Because for your information, I'm not going to let you."

She glared at him in return, "Why not? Why does this matter to you, anyway? You literally don't even know me. I don't know you either, so I don't really care what you want me to do or not to do. I don't really care about what anyone wants me to do. Why should I?"

Lance's mouth dropped open in surprise at her tone. He narrowed his eyes at her and grunted, "You assume no one cares for you. You assume no one could ever care for you. How are you so daft? Think about last year, how Marcus and Shelby went missing. You didn't know them, but you still noticed they were gone and mourned for them. I know because I did the same. A week ago seven students went missing. Several of them were nobodies, but look."

He pulled up a picture on his phone. It was a picture of the school. There were pictures of every single one of the missing students on the light poles. Missing portraits. There were people putting up posters and people looking worried and sad.

"If that doesn't show you something, here. There was an assembly talking about suicide and death last week, and the entire time, there was a picture of Paris on the document camera being shown on the wall. Every single person in that auditorium signed a card they're going to give to you the day you come back to school, assuming you don't switch schools." He told her as she stared at the picture.

Desiree handed his phone back to him and shook her head. "I don't deserve that." She told him.

He laughed quietly. His tone softened as he spoke again, "This is my point. You think so lowly of yourself." He sighed and stood up from the bed, "By, Sidge. I'll see you at school." He opened the door and left the room, slowly closing it behind him.

She sat there for hours, just staring out the window, guilty and disappointed in herself. It has hurt. She admits she has a crippling low self esteem, but she never really thought anyone cared. In reality, they probably didn't care until she almost died. That's how it always works. You don't appreciate something until you lose it.

You never really notice anything until it's gone. Then it's absence is louder than it ever was by itself.