Pins and Needles

You remind me of that velvet sewing tomato,

irrevocably bulging with pins

and

needles.

No real purpose at all - just sits there,

consistently jammed full of sharp objects that

make

you

b***h.  It's not even real velvet, either, simply a fabric that I don't remember the name of nor

really

care

for.  Even if the pins and

needles

are used

to repair,

revive

or

remedy...

 

you're still just a sour unrealistic non-velvet tomato left with more empty holes than the leather belt of the universe's largest man.

Reviews

[Miss Coral]

This was amazing.. I wish I could really tell people that they resemble a velvet sewing tomato..

The wit and humor behind this really contrasts what it is saying, but is perfectly balanced and executed.. LOVE the last line.
This is the type of writing I wish I could do.
Excellent job.
c:
Into my library it goes.

100/100
-Coral-

[J.Black]

You sold me on the first few lines- you're taking simple things yet again, that bring back memories to me and I can relate. I love when I can relate to something- it makes me feel emotionally attached to the composer as if it was written based off things floating around in my brain that haven't quite been pieced together. My mom use to have that little tomato ball with her pins inside of it. Hole after hole, and prick after prick- not once did I ever draw out the same connection as you just did. That's talent my friend! If they are used to repair, then yes, why does it hurt so much? I also drew out a connection of a bleeding tomato- the color red- and the shape of a deadless heart. Nice.

[Alicia Schroeder]

goodness, I know so many people like this tomato, i love this peice, nicely put into words.

[A-Lovely-Anxiety]

Wow. It's amazing!! I'm always stunned at your words; always beautiful. Great job, I love the theme!! The feeling was overwhelming and the flow and format blew my mind. :)

[Batty_E]

wow I love it. It's got a darkness I love. The only thing that confused me was I wanted to go slow then at the end it made me want to go fast and yell it. But what do I know I am not that good. Maybe you wanted the reader to have a sudden change in pace.

[alan khan]

like the flow of it, and the formatting was pretty unique, very interesting. really enjoyed this, liked what you said.

[Vicky Zhuang Yi-Yin]

wow. the anger in it was just overflowing, great imagery too. Great job!
-Yin

[Shelby. Loves ya. :3]

wow awesome poem. great job. i tihnk ill read more of your poems.

[Ruth]

This ROCKS!!!!! lol
Excellent, sharp objects as sharp as the wit and calculation in this poem! A person exorcising, the reader cannot help but feel a sense of retribution here on a mental level! Wow!
Hard hitting and downright cool!
Kudos sweety!
xx

[My Fair Lady]

I like how in writing we can say things we don't say or probably shouldn't say. I can think of more than a few people this reminds me of, but would not have the courage to tell them to their face that they are indeed pesimists with sharp objects, that have really no purpose. This poem made me think, and I like it.