Where have you gone to?

Where have you gone to?

10 November 2020

10:06

The girl I once knew was happy

Full of fun

She enjoyed life

Had lots of hobbies

    - which one should I do today

She cooked and baked for us

• The best cook in the world

 

The fun has left her

    - the eyes are dull

    - there is no one in

Her work is left

    - untouched

I do my best to cook for us

 

She refuses her tablets

    - or hides them

I don't want them to take her away

    - They would not look after her

    - just sit her in a chair

We will keep her here with us

   - Keep telling her

   - What's for tea

Wild Rose

Nov 2020

Reviews

[Aura]

I am so sorry to hear this. I reviewed your more recent, " She is Returning" poem before this one, and in that poem you said it was the sequel to this poem. I am glad that she is coming around and her memory is coming back to her, in the other poem. At first I thought the poem was a metaphor for how covid seemed to have been going away for a while but not anymore, I did not realize that you were talking about a real person until I read it again, with conjunction with your more recent poem. It must have been difficult to care for her, especially when she hid her tablets. Its unfortunate, when memory loss occurs, we forget everything, and taking care of ourselves becomes a task on its own. She must have been a very talented person, had a lot of hobbies and loved to bake. Its heartbreaking when you once saw a person who had joy in her eyes, no longer. She was lucky to have you to look after her through the pandemic and I'm glad things are getting better., and hopefully her memory recovers more.

[barleygirl]

This is the most touching thing I've ever read from you. Knowing a little about your wife, I am guessing this is your constant dilemma in recent months/years . . . watching her vivacity fade (vivid details to paint this, in your poem) . . . trying to find shreds of her magic remaining so you can boost her up in words . . . wondering at what point it might be best to let professionals take over . . . after all, you deserve to continue your life to the fullness that you can enjoy, even when it's beyond what your wife can now handle. I can't imagine how hard such a decision might be . . . possibly similar to when we try to decide when it's best to put down a pet who's been failing over the past year . . . it's never the right day . . . never the right decision . . . & you always second-guess yourself for weeks & months. I'm sorry this is how it goes for you & your beloved wife (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Wild Rose]

Thank you Margie.
We haden't noticed anything until Feb when we were locked down & I had been told to make a will and avoid any one not in our imediate family
I had heard of the virus & had filled our larder.
She went shopping with our son & bought items we had shelves full of [I have got this flour (a one pound bag - we have enough flour for three weeks of bead and cakes we have no room for it - their may be a little old lady look for a one pound bad - but the man said is was scarce)]
I began to notice that she was repeatedly asking the same question - So had a word with the doctor
He planned a blood test on the same day as mine (I have them monthly) and prescribed some Magnesium tablets. She needed coaxing to take them; but now she is taking them without any reminder _ her blood count is improving
These last few days she has begun to take back the things we had to do
She isn't fully aware of what the virus is about (yet)
shutting her away in a home? would be the very last resort
58 year Aniversary end of Feb 21

Thank you fro your understanding comment

[barleygirl]

I admire you greatly. I'm glad you got some help in the way of supplements. I'm a big believer in taking vitamins & minerals, but it's hard to choke them down & you have to be determined, so it can't be easy to coax them into someone else who might be in a completely different frame of mind! Thank God she has you!

[Wild Rose]

Thank you Margie#She has tablets for Diabetes etc.
It the new ones that she forgets
As others have said before It is hard when someone you have lived with all this time begins to bgins to fade
I am pleased to say that she is now responding > Her eyes have their sparkle back (the last few days) there is someone in now and getting bossy (just that her mood can change so fast, just now)

[barleygirl]

We all fade away & then come back again, over & over, as we grow old & feeble. That's the story of my existence these days!

[augustus]

A very sad statement of fact that reminds us of how a great number of people are suffering at this time.

[Wild Rose]

She is missing our trips out - I have been unable to drive for a while
We called the doc > Blood tests - Magnesium shortage

She is slowly picking up now

[augustus]

We all join you in wishing her the very best for the future! Give her a hug from me!(when you can!)

[Wild Rose]

Thanks, Augustus - She doesn't have to ask for a hug

[.]

The depiction is so sad. Mental health is as important as physical health. But still we find it difficult to cope with it. Medications can help a lot but it will take time. But meantime what is important is the care and affection that can be showered to bring back them in the lively track. Hope is the better medicine

[Wild Rose]

Thank you Dreamer
It all started just before lockdown > My immune system had gone wrong & I was told not to mix and to update my will > Then two days later lockdown
I couldn't take her for any outings > I wasn't able to drive

The doc gave her some Magnesium tablets
She now realises that she forgets things > And has begun taking back the chores we had to take over and is planning Christmas

[Wild Rose]

She is a person who likes to be out and active
I was unable to drive; she was worried about the virus ; which she didn't understand
Doctor prescribed a magnesium replacement
Now she realises that she forgets things _ She has taken back the chores we had to take over & getting to sort out some cross stitch work that had been left

[.]

So wonderful to hear this. Yes sometimes shortage of sodium and potassium can also have same forgetful effect as I have seen in my mother in law. Hope she will get better with each passing day... My wishes are with her..

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

Depression and the blues....they change people so much. Tablets....they dull the person too. I felt so sad reading this poem. Mental afflictions just rob people from the world. The lights are on but there's no one left inside....

[Wild Rose]

We recognised the signs.
A TV program said to get help early
The doc said it was a magnesium shortage
She refused the tablets at first
Now she is taking them
Also taking back the jobe we had to do to keep the place ticking over
Thank you for your comment

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

You're welcome WildRose.

[Tepo]

So very touching
I know the joys and worries this situation can bring
You are a fantastic example to us all.
And
Superbly written
Respect

[Wild Rose]

Thank you Tepo
She was beginning to forget things and buy food we did not need
I have been laid up before the first lockdown

Then there was an advert on TV about Alzheimer's
the add close with someone asking 'What are we having for tea' - that sort of clicked - So I contacted the doc > She has tablets now to adjust her blood balance > They do seem to be working - she is beginning to take back the jobs we have been doing to keep things going

[Chris Shaw]

A sad reminder of what depression or alzheimers can do to us. Turn us into a shell of our former selves. Especially poignant as we advance in years. I do admire those who are able to look after their elderly dear ones when they have reached this stsge. All good wishes Wild Rose.

Chris

[Wild Rose]

We take her for rides > in a home there would be no rides out
I am watching the tablets to see she takes them now
Slowly working

[Wild Rose]

We realised she was forgetting when they locked us down in Feb

[Chris Shaw]

Taking regular medication is so important. Essential that is regulated. Hope things improve.

[Wild Rose]

Thank you, Christine
Yes slowly - at least now she is taking the tablets, without coaxingread moreThank you, Christine
Yes slowly - at least now she is taking the tablets, without coaxing
We had a week booked to go away - then there was an outbreak close to where we had booked > Stay at home hol
We sat in the cmper on our drive for afternoon tea