Caving In

Really dark for me

Sky's getting darker
Breathing gets short
Walls caving in
What am I to do?
Sitting here
Watching as the sky
Turns black
Black because of
The sins of the world
Caving in
Look what you've done
One little apple
Caused sin for all
Of an eternity
No one talks,
No one moves,
Just look at the world
As its caving in

Reviews

[Una Xoto]

Ah that damn apple still reverberates down the line. It can be hard to watch the storm all around us. But when we turn within our heart shines through & gives way to such a light...
I really enjoyed this piece. strong imagery & emotion. I like also that it left me thinking & empathizing. Rock on!

[Tasha]

Thank you very much.

[quinfinn]

well, i could say it was all eve's damned fault, but everyone knows adam was tempted by the booty, not the fruit! i want my baby back baby back rib back!

[Tasha]

Lol i love you quinn, thats the best review ive ever reccived

[quinfinn]

right backatcha babe!

[Tasha]

aww yay!

[falling_toxic_rain]

The forbbiden apple! :o
I like how emphasis the cavubg in

[Tasha]

Thank you very much!

[falling_toxic_rain]

you're welcome

[Tasha]

:)

[Krystyna Herst]

Love it :)

[Tasha]

Thank you :)

[Krystyna Herst]

Sure ^.^

[Tasha]

:-)

[Krystyna Herst]

:3

[Tasha]

:&

[Krystyna Herst]

:L

[Tasha]

E:

[Krystyna Herst]

F:

[Tasha]

:H

[Krystyna Herst]

:Q

[Tasha]

:B

[Krystyna Herst]

:5

[Tasha]

:9

[Krystyna Herst]

:7

[Tasha]

:8

[Krystyna Herst]

:19

[Tasha]

:17

[Krystyna Herst]

:15

[Tasha]

:19

[Krystyna Herst]

:67542765327652

[Tasha]

:73218835585836

[Tasha]

:7463525264625

[Krystyna Herst]

:42197276823762732

[Tasha]

:483527392514592715397563515243

[Krystyna Herst]

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[Tasha]

:4745262648696927161511525151111547475847363758694837261615153647586836251515375858585869696968

[Tasha]

hehe I know

[Krystyna Herst]

Haha :)

[Tasha]

Haha this is hilarious :)

[Krystyna Herst]

I know, right?! :DDD

[Tasha]

Yesss it is

[Krystyna Herst]

haha :DDDDDDDDDDD

[Tasha]

hahaha :)))))))))

[Krystyna Herst]

hahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah :DDDD

[Tasha]

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha:)))))

[Krystyna Herst]

hehehehehehhehehehehhehheheheheheheheheheheheheheheh :)

[Tasha]

eheheh :) hehhe

[Krystyna Herst]

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[Tasha]

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[Tasha]

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[Tasha]

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[Krystyna Herst]

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[Tasha]

Gjdhshhdjgjfjdhehhagagshfkhlgoto yursh yoursh, yoursh

[Krystyna Herst]

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[Tasha]

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[Krystyna Herst]

erh tgnjhklf;dndfgkdfkjrhjhjdhlkjdhjlkdhljkhdjkhsjklhjklshjkljkhhhjhjhjhjhj'jfd;lkh

[Tasha]

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jdhdhfjrjrjehwhwjrkgkgnvnxbbshit

[Krystyna Herst]

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[Tasha]

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[Krystyna Herst]

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[Tasha]

sn

[Taylor H.]

Dude, i get a notification everytime you do this lol

[Krystyna Herst]

lol Do you really? I'm so sorry :3

[Taylor H.]

lmao

[Krystyna Herst]

:3

[Tasha]

haha ;7

[Krystyna Herst]

:DDD

[Tasha]

sorry about your notification

[Taylor H.]

lol its ok

[Krystyna Herst]

:3

[Tasha]

lol ok

[Krystyna Herst]

:DDD

[Tasha]

:KKK

[Krystyna Herst]

:SSS

[Tasha]

hggf

[Krystyna Herst]

j;kdfh

[Tasha]

jkdiebr

[Krystyna Herst]

dsfbnjkdfbhnkjfbdhkn;jdfbh

This got so long :DD

[Tasha]

eihahfieheowheifhe

Haha I know :)

[Krystyna Herst]

jurgnjk;weg;kljehrijohrkjlrhk;jldfh

:DDDD

[A. J. Bozdar]

I like caving in. It has feeling of depth. I felt, you were sad when you were writing this. Try to be close more to nature. Explore others positivism, get experience from nature. Read more and more, You are 18, I wish you all the best for your entire life. Do your best. Writers are the royals but readers are the leaders.

[Tasha]

Thank you very much A. It really means a lot and I will look into nature more. Thanks again!

[A. J. Bozdar]

welcome forever :)

[Tasha]

Aww, thanks forever :)

[Poetic Beauty]

There are many times it feels as if "the world is caving in" There is turmoil and sadness all around but if you take a deeper look there is light among the bleak vastness of darkness. This poem shows how it can feel as if the walls a closing and there is no way out. Strong emotion revealed in this poem.

[Tasha]

Thank you very much!

[Poetic Beauty]

you are quite welcome

[Tasha]

:)

[DIVYA]

Very dark poetry Tasha done very tastefully... I can sense the poet's helplessness... My compliments.

[Tasha]

Thank you so much!

[Priyanka Natesh]

Beautiful work. Pithy work. Conveyed the message perfectly. Thank you :)

[Tasha]

Thank you for the review!

[Kenneth The Poet]

Dark, agreed. Due to an apple, unsure. Our nature from the start, in accord with you.

Nice work.

[Tasha]

Thanks so much Kenneth!

[Ahmad Cox]

Very deep and powerful message.

[Tasha]

Thanks!