She Thought it was Love

The title says it all.

She thought she had found Mr. Right,
and everything would be alright,
but she was wrong
then  her world started to fall

She thought she had found the one,
 one different from the rest,
who understood
all that she talked about

She thought she found love
when he said
that she was the only girl for him,
she believed every word,
she hung on to them for dear life
like a fish helplessly hanging
onto a hook

But she was left
sad,
and alone
flip flopping her feelings
with   the one she loves...

She thought she was in love,
but it seemed like she was the only one
in love...

Author's Note

A friend was telling me about her problems about being in love with a guy and he didn't seem to love her back. This feeling sucks, and I gave her some advice and then I wrote this.

Reviews

[Andrew - Moon Fixer]

Okay. this is a good piece, but it needs work. First the Sentences they need to flow. This needs help...
(but she was wrong
then her world started to fall)
Okay try this...
(she was wrong.
Her world fell a part)

Now this part take a look...

( She thought she had found Mr. Right,
and everything would be alright,)
There is nothing wrong here but one thing. It Rhymes. The thing is that the rest does not I was expecting that all of it rhymes, ether all or nothing.
I am a victom of this myself. let's try this
( Mr. Right, she believed she had,
Thinking that God has blessed her.

But she was wrong.
The day fell to night. )
Take a look at this. I look forword to reading this again.

[Kevin Horsley]

You are definitely improving Ta'Shandra. This is a well written piece, really good flow, expression and the ending says it all.

[Babieegirl]

Yes, many could relate to this. It was a good write, and kinda felt related to it, because of what i'm going through ATM, and yeah.. the only thing i would change about it is the last part.. to me it didn't really flow through good enough for me.. my opinion though. I liked in nonetheless.

[Bridget Mcmaken]

This is a great poem and I love it! It's sad and you wrote it out well I could feel the sadness and the pain seeping though the words. amazing write

[anne p. murray- LadeeAn..]

At the mere young age of 16, you show a great ability to put your feelings into words, allowing us, as readers to correspond accordingly with our own feelings. Drawing them up from our own past experiences, of love gone awry, we can all connect with the heart of the matter.
These things happen to all of us, at one time or another and yes...
these feelings really do quite literally 'suck', whether you're 16 or 66.

Thanks for the share.
Anne

[clairvoyantmars]

exactly what i felt three years ago.... :((

[guiltyascharged]

Awwww, this is really good. I think I've been through this. Maybe. No, they didn't know I loved them. I really loved this and the last line was very powerful, I saw images in my mind. Very powerful write.

[Duane Klinger]

Unrequited love. . .is there any greater pain? Sadly, I can relate with this. I found myself in a similar situation with my ex fiancee, believing that we had a love unmatched. . .it was very much unmatched for he couldn't match what I had given him. Great write, very powerful.
MKLINE

[CharlesMonroe]

I can really relate to this :/ I'm sorry for your friend. The pome was beautiful though (:

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

Love the poem, you did a wonderful job on how love can suck!

[Blue Moon Ice Cream]

Nice description of your friend's sad experience. I liked the simile of the fish flopping on the hook. :) And "alright" is not a word, even though it does seem to fit particularly well here--it's always "all right."