Falling

Looking out,

wondering why;

why can't I be like her?

hoping for the worst

I jump,

jump to death,

death is better

than being with you

I fell in love with you

but you didn't feel the same way too,

I'm falling,

falling,

falling

why won't you

catch me?

Author's Note

FYI: This isn't about me, what do you think?

Reviews

[外人 (Gaiji..]

a poem played on the hyperbole of the love sentiment :)
nice use of anaphoras to stress out the actions of "jumping" and "falling", i see also some jealousy, but it's just mentioned, you didn't focus on it (nicely done, it works much better as a background), just one tip: even if you play it on hyperbole (love madness bringing someone to end up its own life) don't choose a too banal cause, i won't lie: poets have already thought of justify suicide caused by love with the fact it wasn't corresponded, but they always provided a story bringing the protagonist to a climax of madness that can somehow justify the action, taken "apart" this poem is not enough to explain such a decision (just my opinion :) )

[Fragilebrokendreams]

So much emotion and sadness. Its really quite lovely.

[James Snaith]

Emotive and full of interesting imagery – your use of free verse is quite apt here, as it adds a sense of “freeness” to the poem that isn’t conveyed in the text; the lack of choice. Which is, of course, what falling in love is – a lack of choice.

How we act on it, how we interpret it… ahhh, well now, those are choices.

Nice work.

[TheReal]

I like your not rhyming flow. I like the way you free verse, and the repetitive transitions.

[Stacey Watts]

This was a very well written poem. It flowed beautifully.

[Coyote Poetry]

We all want someone to catch us. I believe we gain real wisdom when we don't care what the other folks look like and are happy with ourselves. Nice flow of thoughts and a good ending. A excellent poem.
Coyote

[Geraldine]

It's short but heartfelt. ^^ If you could have elaborated more, I'm sure it'll be more lovely, but all in all it's a good one. ^^

[Whiskurz]

Heartbreaking and beautiful.....Whisk