Midnight Moon

Just felt like trying something different.

In the day everything is bright
Cars bustle through the streets
Parents work
Children go to school or play outside
Time moves with out a thought
No one ever really thinks of what is going on
By evening Tv's blare
Smoke stacks billow with the sweet perfume of an evening meal
Families are whole.
Slow the busy people prepare for bed
Midnight approaches
Bringing its peaceful shadows
Its bright stars
Its ever changing moon
The black alleys of the brain escapes.
Some of sweet dreams
Others of terrible nightmares.
Out side nocturnal s take over
Restless souls with an never ending thirst.
Blood lust
Passion seekers
Tormented beings
Thoughts of death
Thoughts of murder
Only one person sees beyond the night
Staring upwards
Star gazing
Dreaming of the moon
Enjoying the nights true beauty
All else stops
Allowing one to be embraced by the glowing gray mass
Full of scars
Time can finally stand still
Re-pleased by Gods grand creations
Nothing else matters
Except for the moons seductive glare.

Author's Note

I know this is one of my bad poems, but hey this is how someones brain can function while sleep aids are taking the toll. I will revise it when I can think straight. Until then you know the routine Rate, Review, Comment.

p.s. just created a new contest with cash prizes "Something wicked this way comes." check it out and enter if you dare Muahahahahahahaha....um that was a bit over the top sorry :)

Reviews

[Ashley Black]

"The black alleys of the brain escapes.
Some of sweet dreams
Others of terrible nightmares."
very beautifully written those were my favorite lines
very nice job as always

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

I thought it was nice. Thanks for sharing. :)

[Eric Cox]

Wow. Love the nighttime imagery in this, especially..."Staring upwards, Star gazing, Dreaming of the moon, Enjoying the night's true beauty". Great job on this poem.

[Kristen]

I agree, not your best but it's still well written for being tired! Just polish it up a little and it'll be fine.

[Marlena]

I actually really liked it. "Polishing" is more like typo control, in this case. You've got a ton of them, but that's all right. Just fix them up. It's truthful, really, sometimes the poems and stuff that we write when we're tired come out the best.

[rachielle]

In my opinion, this poem could be polished a bit more. As I was reading it, I couldn't help but think that it was just a series of phrases put together. I like the imagery, but you could've tried making it a little less choppy, I guess? Your words were brilliant, it's just that I felt like you were disoriented when you wrote this, so it makes the readers a bit disoriented as well. Try connecting the pieces a bit, and it'll make an awesome poem:D

[JENY]

It’s a little bit different from your other creations….
Its good…
But not so profound as your previous creations….

[James Watts]

This one is pretty awesome. Flows very well and has a real feel to it.

[Jennika has a short att..]

I think this poem is pretty. Believe me when I say I don't say 'pretty' very much and I use it in a different context(whatever word I meant; I just got outta school) than most people. It's like a word reserved for the awesome poems, so I'm gonna say it again. Pretty poem.(:

Beautiful.