Smudged

 

   

 

 

Bouncing off your reflection,

You become smudged,

As the ripples change direction

In the face of what only appeared to be. 

 

Drifting away in pieces,

Transparency allows tainted vision 

to find the bottom,

Where I plant my feet. 

 

I wait for the wind to shift currents,

Moving the earth beneath me,

Thus allowing your face, once again,

To meet with my eyes; 

 

But this time,

I won’t be surprised.

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Passion for Literature]

the speaker offers an eloquent expression of being able to see clearly...the loss of ambiguity

"Transparency allows tainted vision
to find the bottom,
Where I plant my feet."...the notion of finding strength is conveyed so nicely in your word choice

"I wait for the wind to shift currents,
Moving the earth beneath me"...powerful sentiment of expecting what is to come

"But this time,
I won't be surprised"...few words, yet articulated very well

the title communicates the speaker's state of mind and is an excellent choice for this poem

I love reading your work...you are so creative is your words...VERY NICELY WRITTEN!

[Dionysus Cain]

i like this but i took it as if you found yourself again. in everything that life brings at you , we sometimes lose track of who we are, then after years past we are like, is that what i said or is that what i looked like.. as if u lost track of you and finally found ur self again... i like it alot, the pitcure gives a different feel, the hand reaching out to grab yourself..awesome....

[[untitled]]

I call AD the 'Queen of Erotica' but you are the QUEEN of Imagery. Your word play is truly awesome. I read Smudged a couple of times to absorb it because it was that good. The graphic works well with it too...looks familiar :D I just don't know why you won't publish a book of poetry.

[Aspiring Angel]

Wow what an amazing graphic you have chosen to go with this wonderful write.

I loved these lines

"I wait for the wind to shift currents,
Moving the earth beneath me,
Thus allowing your face, once again,
To meet with my eyes;"

It is sometimes so hard to see beyond the smudges.
We know what we think we see, what we'de like to see
But sometimes it does take the winds to shift currents
For us to truthfully see.

Wonderful work Dani.

Blessings,
Lesa

[Amanda]

what an interesting write, Dani....it reflects the soul and its search for something tangible to hold onto, but this is my thought about what it means to me. it is like not being able to see what is there and then the clarity when it dawns on the mind when it finds what it is looking for.

welll written as always, girlfriend...i really like this write....

Amanda xox

[*** Hey Jude***]

Your words flow as one again you have created a piece that delves into the very soul.

This work is powerful in itself , however the last two lines are the kicker for me as you decribe through metaphors that you have learned much, and "you will not be suprised"!

I would bet on that my S.I.S. ~ Jude xo

[Loribeth215]

I love this. It's truly beautiful.
I have the feeling that you could read this poem many different times and derive a different meaning, just like the "transparency" in the poem. Excellent.

[☮]

I found a paralled between the saying "Fool me once, my fault... fool me twice, mine!"

I liked the image you associated with this writing. In this poem, you confidently state that you're past the hollow image that was first perceived and now can confront the true being the second time around.

Your flow and word usage makes every piece a wonderful experience.

Thanks for sending this my way.
Cyn

[W.Piggy]

Woah, it's a beautiful poem! It really is.
I like the last sentences. :)
I think you did a great job. Keep it up. :)
You're a really inspiring and great writer, just thought you should know that.
=)

W.Piggy

[Michael X]

very nice, made me think completely abstract, like looking at stained glass
shards broken and thrown into a dark room split in half by a ray of sunshine,
one can see the sparkling effects with pin point and graying effect of glitter
type emotions, smudged, your titles certainly draw the reader to ponder.
as well as the canvas in which you cast your paint upon, as passion, loved it.