Underneath the folds of flower petals

Underneath the folds of flower petals, the blue waters of affection,

With its magical shapes; kiss like a nymph the image of my stars.

Above skies of evening blue, the bright sun watches over the parade of love,

As the crow crows a noise wise and sweet; and the clear eyes of nature flutter,

Starlit on the tips of my feet.

Come! My lungs like a glass century break in ancient air;

The gold of my tears mount the fire, strong and fair.

Very late in the day, I drew early the fresh delight. Slipping into

Dark corners, yawning like a bird.

I did not rest. It is the misery of age.

Now I am old in heaven’s rage.

Like the rays of the scorching sun; the wild heat of eternity.

I did not grow old in time, but time grew old in me.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

I love your way of telling a story using effusive imagery. I love your original-sounding phrasing for many of your fresh thought-provoking lines. In many places you use sparkling words, but sometimes your word choices can be a bit ordinary ("skies of blue" . . . "bright sun" . . . "clear eyes") -- I feel some of your adjectives could be re-thought & possibly more out-of-the-ordinary. Your writing is so strong, this isn't a big distraction. Just a possibility for pumping it up a bit. (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Danny Metcalfe]

Thank you for your comment, Margie. :)

[Laura Kate]

This is so beautiful, Danny. I've read it several times, and will likely come back to read it several times more.

[Danny Metcalfe]

Thank you LouBelle. I really appreciate your comments.

[Stella Armour]

There is some of Dylan Thomas "Do not go gentle" in this thoughful poem Danny .
"Rage, rage against the dying of the light! "
Much enjoyed ....

[jacob erin-cilberto]

and Rimbaud...what an ugly man who wrote such beautiful poetry...
such irony there.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Lately I have felt the truth of this last line...
I am almost feel like The Portrait of Dorian Grey...
in line 7, I read it as "mounts"---
I really like the "heaven's rage" image and the idea of growing old within that rage.
j.

[Haley]

Time is such an interesting and funny thing to think/write about and is also so subjective based on where you are in your life, space, and feelings. Beautifully written and I want more.

[Betty Hermelee]

TIME is relative; it could be now, past, future. Time catches up with one in the aging process; loss of so many important functions; I think of time as now, because I can't look ahead as one never know when death occurs; it could be tomorrow. Interesting concept. Nice write;
Fondly, Betty

[CLR9]

Did time really grow old in you? How big is time?

[Chris Shaw]

Beautifully poetic and it reminded me of Shakespeare. Gather ye rosebuds while ye may. Time just has a habit of catching us out, often when we least expect it. Very nicely conveyed with fabulous imagery Danny. Happy New Year.

Chris

[Danny Metcalfe]

Thank you, Chris. The Shakespeare reference makes me smile.
Happy New Year. :)