Dusty Lane

For all those who have a hard time with my format, I changed it a bit, let me know what you think haha :)

Dusty Lane

 

Today I took a walk

Down memory lane

I sat on the floor

Opened my drawer

And pulled out memories

Silver glittering necklaces

From several different events

Sparkling like gems

That are new

And never been worn

Demanding attention

They’ve been hidden away

For much too long

But these memories

I will not wear

I am unable to

Nor do I want to

They’re just to sit there

Collecting dust

Sparkling like gems

And even as I

Trace my delicate fingernails

Over the texture

I can’t bring myself

To wrap these beautiful jewels

Around my neck

Incase they suffocate me

Like you did

Cutting off my air

And watching my life

Slip through my fingers

So I slowly retreated

From this walk

Down memory lane

Packing up the gems

And putting them back

Where they belong

In a drawer

To once again

Collect dust

Reviews

[MoriartyMesa]

This had a nice heat that had a good ole fashion country style too it. Reminds me of Blake Shelton, something with a slow guitar, hot weather and the words sparkle.

[Johnny Joe]

the past should stay in the past because those trips down memory lane always end up cutting off our air. nice poem

[Chris]

You've a type-oh but I don't know if you accept hearing that.

So as a comment - It didn't stumble in the reading aloud but it did seem to stop several times. The punctuation didn't guide the author's intent nor pace. The poem told a truth well... and hinted to a story.

[Biju]

whew ... just a week back i talked to someone i loved and lost ,,, after 16 hyears .. i had the same feeling

[Kes]

I love the cyclical feel of this write.
It's a really tough poem. The flow and the imagery were perfect throughout.
Great write.
K

[joshua deathdealer]

A captivating read. Nice work.

[Monica]

Nice write! You did a great job in writing this, it has beautiful flow and imagery.

" I can’t bring myself
To wrap these beautiful jewels
Around my neck
Incase they suffocate me
Like you did"

...these words are so powerful and show strength.
thank you for sharing your beautiful talent :)

[Lumière Dé..]

The flow was really smooth and it was so easy to read. I love how the overall mood is melancholy I still got some really beautiful images in my head.
Well done :)

[khalid]

very nicely written..although it has some feelings of depression and sadness, it was really very nice in the images, metaphor and words picking rather than the nice flow of words.
i have really enjoyed reading it.
thank you for sharing

[Sophie]

I really love the metaphor, memories being necklaces, beautiful :) One of my favorite pieces of yours :)