Places and Spaces

Places and Spaces

A Poem by Diane Lockard
"

One of my favorite places...

"

 

Small towns, fields of corn and groves of fruit trees

Stretch across the valley,

A dry, stark view appears, gnarly sagebrush,

An occasional horse or cow, a farm house.

An old abandoned Chevron Station, For Sale…

Current Creek store with weathered gray boards.

Next, mountains and flowing creeks,

“Bear Country,” yellow wild flowers,

Dried-out limbs and leafy green ones sprouting,

  from the same trunk.

Bear tracks disappear into the woods…

The dirt road winds up the mountain,

On the side, stately pine trees climb up, up, up.

No sign of life, let alone, bears.

The heat dances in the air; water drips on my chin,

as I drink.

            A solitary cabin overlooks the spreadingvalley.

Surprise on our faces, as we discover sea shells

Scattered - 7000 feet above sea level...

Central Utah

 

                              

 

© 2013 Diane Lockard


Author's Note

Diane Lockard
Do you have any suggestions for formatting?

My Review

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Featured Review

What a clever way to take a reader along for a road trip.

An occasional horse or cow, a farm house.
An old abandoned Chevron Station, For Sale…
"I thought for a second that maybe you were an Iowa girl too, lol"

Formatting? I don't think it is necessary to change it. The font was easy to read, the line breaks are good....sometimes I like to throw my words around, just to keep people interested...this way they stay engaged and curious. I don't play with my font as much as I used to. But I can give you an example:

http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/hideNseek/787559/

I liked your title too, very fitting. I enjoyed reading you.



Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Diane Lockard

6 Years Ago

Thank you for your suggestions, it is similar to editing, two pairs of eyes work better! I am a Utah.. read more



Reviews

Sorry I don't nothing about formating. But your piece have beautiful description of beauty of nature and rural life. I really like that.

Posted 2 Years Ago


What a clever way to take a reader along for a road trip.

An occasional horse or cow, a farm house.
An old abandoned Chevron Station, For Sale…
"I thought for a second that maybe you were an Iowa girl too, lol"

Formatting? I don't think it is necessary to change it. The font was easy to read, the line breaks are good....sometimes I like to throw my words around, just to keep people interested...this way they stay engaged and curious. I don't play with my font as much as I used to. But I can give you an example:

http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/hideNseek/787559/

I liked your title too, very fitting. I enjoyed reading you.



Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Diane Lockard

6 Years Ago

Thank you for your suggestions, it is similar to editing, two pairs of eyes work better! I am a Utah.. read more
Separate the title from the body, but don't repeat it as a line. I wouldn't change your thoughts but the flow could be more effective AND affective - parsed, staggered, and stanza'd. Some seeming connective words coud go away and different transistions could apply. But that is me and not really you. I like your thoughts.



Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Diane Lockard

6 Years Ago

Chris, I am back for a moment; the day is winding down.... Great suggestions - I didn't realize that.. read more
The 'dead limbs' threw the pleasant feeling it was giving me. It's clarified later, but that moment when you don't know what's next hit me, and took a macabre direction. Part of that might have been the previous 'Bear Country' line. Would 'dry' work?

What I like about this most is that it isn't trying to be anything but what it is. Sometimes people go overboard with metaphors, so I appreciate a simple, pretty scene like this.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Diane Lockard

6 Years Ago

Thank you for stopping by, that is an excellent suggestion, so it doesn't interrupt the flow... Dian.. read more
i would leave it as it is Dianne, lots of wonderful images in this piece, i am learning all the time about different places, plants and landscape in other countries as i am from England..

Posted 6 Years Ago


Diane Lockard

6 Years Ago

Thank you for your input. Central Utah is one of my favorite places to go; It has Highway 89 running.. read more
For my taste, the formatting is just fine and I found it completely readable. The message speaks to my heart, non-city person that I am. As a boy, I nearly lived outdoors, exploring woods and creeks, searching for arrow heads, caves, or anything interesting. And the sea shells--I have a watch fob that belonged to my grandfather--a sea shell he found forty feet down while digging a well on top of an Arkansas mountain. (Very small mountain by Utah standards) I'll bet I'd like that cabin.

Posted 6 Years Ago


I enjoyed reading Diane...sounds beautiful...yes I wonder how those sea shells got there?

You asked about formatting I would probably just center and see how you like it.
Nice to see you again...SyberRose

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Diane Lockard

7 Years Ago

Thank you, I will try that, I wasn't happy with the present format. I read sea shells have been foun.. read more

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7 Reviews
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Added on April 4, 2013
Last Updated on July 11, 2013
Tags: poetry, nature, travel

Author

Diane Lockard
Diane Lockard

Moroni, UT



About
Thank you, friends, for exchanging stories and poems, plus reviewing my writing. Memories of growing up in Montana - My Mother's Hands, On the Road Again about family reunions, Discover Life's Treasur.. more..

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