En Retard

En Retard

A Poem by Dinali Sathma

Thorn to thorn the fingers glide
Ceaseless flow of blood 
Bubbles out and flows in new made veins 
Blind eyes and felt tips reach the arduous lair 
Dawn dew, morning mist fall on fallen hair
Soft fingers touch the spilling rose
Sicken noses smell the fetid air
Its too late to turn, the limb has come to froze 

© 2012 Dinali Sathma


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Author's Note

Dinali Sathma
I've never thought that grammar is really necessary in poems.

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Featured Review

i am not a huge worrier about grammar either. as you will no doubt notice i rarely capitalize unless it's a name or proper noun...if people don't like it that's their loss because my writing is pretty damned good sometimes. this write of yours is beautifully dark and yet , while it may make one feel squeamish it is impossible to cease reading. that's what i call excellent writing. and don't worry too much about the rhyme scheme...as a poet friend of mine is fond of saying, it's your write...you have all the power!

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dinali Sathma

9 Years Ago

Thank you and your words are encouraging with you being an experienced writer. I'd agree with your f.. read more



Reviews

nicely done

Posted 9 Years Ago


Dinali Sathma

9 Years Ago

Thanks
i am not a huge worrier about grammar either. as you will no doubt notice i rarely capitalize unless it's a name or proper noun...if people don't like it that's their loss because my writing is pretty damned good sometimes. this write of yours is beautifully dark and yet , while it may make one feel squeamish it is impossible to cease reading. that's what i call excellent writing. and don't worry too much about the rhyme scheme...as a poet friend of mine is fond of saying, it's your write...you have all the power!

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dinali Sathma

9 Years Ago

Thank you and your words are encouraging with you being an experienced writer. I'd agree with your f.. read more
its well written ... i love the darkness associated with it

Posted 9 Years Ago


Very nice! I liked this poem, and agree with phillitup that it is both light and dark at the same time. If I had to complain about one thing, which I hate to do, is the beat of this poem. There were sometimes that you rhymed words, and other times where you rhymed with a word a couple lines down, and other times when you just didn't rhyme. If those rhymes were just accidents, I understand, but I've learned that the best poems always flow like the melody and have a beat.
Overall, however, this was a very nice poem and I admire all of the different things you explain and how you explain them. Another keeper!

Posted 9 Years Ago


Dinali Sathma

9 Years Ago

It was a random thought and I made it into a poem only afterwards so I couldn't have a steady rhyme .. read more
Dark while being light at the same time. Somehow, when reading this poem I can't help but think that maybe, as the thorn is taking away blood from others, some frost is choking it from behind. It's just a thought but I felt a bit cold when reading this poem...no clue why.

Posted 9 Years Ago


Dinali Sathma

9 Years Ago

Your suggestion is another good imagery. I couldn't help feeling horrified when writing it myself. T.. read more
(Soft fingers touch the spilling rose)
chilling this is chilling and beautiful in a dark way,i love how you messed with words, nice write :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


Dinali Sathma

9 Years Ago

Thanks.
Salar Majak

9 Years Ago

you are welcome :)

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Added on December 12, 2012
Last Updated on December 12, 2012

Author

Dinali Sathma
Dinali Sathma

Negombo, Gampaha, Sri Lanka



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