Coopers Mill

Written some years ago for a contest about suicide on another writing site.

 

Cooper’s Mill,

Mississippi June 3, 1964

 

I do not think that Johnny knew,

or may he ever know.

That he is still the only one

to whom love I could show.

 

If I had cared enough for him,

he never would have died.

And if he knew how much I cared,

to live he might have tried...

 

He lost the will to live they said,

and I had not told him…

On that sad night ten days ago,

when we went for a swim...

 

At Cooper’s Mill, with all the kids,

the death drop Johnny dived.

To show me he was brave enough,

to win my love he died.

 

‘cause just an hour before that,

I said “I don’t think so.”

When Johnny asked me to the prom,

I wanted so to go.

 

But hard to get I had to be,

soI just let him try.

‘cause kids don’t think about these things...

but I let Johnny die.

 

~

 

In black I’m walking down the road,

a mile from Cooper’s Mill.

The headlights of a truck I see,

It’s racing towards the hill.

 

The truck will reach the crest I know,

and not have time to see.

The two kids standing in its path…

one’s Johnny… and one’s me.

Reviews

[Kanattas Atir Enomo]

wow, so this poem was based on something that actually happened? that is amazing and i think that this poem is really powerful. it conveys the message and had great imagery. really beautiful. the last two stanzas were, i thought, flawless.
although in my opinion it could have flowed better. it seems like you were trying too hard to rhyme so it seems rather forced.
the second line "or may he ever know" sounded awkward to me...as did a couple of others. i hope you don't mind my suggestion but here's how it could've been written differently:

I do not think that Johnny knew,

or that he'll ever know.

That he is still the only one

to whom love I could show.



If I had cared enough for him,

he never would have died.

And if he knew how much I cared,

to live, he might have tried...



He lost the will to live they said,

and I know I should have told him…

On that sad night ten days ago,

when we went for a swim...



At Cooper’s Mill, with all the kids,

the death drop Johnny dived.

To show me he was brave enough…

to win my love he died.



‘cause just an hour before that,

I said “I don’t think so.”

When Johnny asked me to the prom,

Although I wanted to go.



But hard to get I had to be,

and I just let him try.

‘cause kids don’t think about these things...

but I let Johnny die.



~



In black I’m walking down the road,

a mile from Cooper’s Mill.

The headlights of a truck I see,

It’s racing towards the hill.



The truck will reach the crest I know,

and not have time to see.

The two kids standing in its path…

one’s Johnny… and one’s me.

[An owl on the moon]

What a powerful, stunning write. One can feel the pain in the sadness of the tragic loss.. . and the ultimate step to remove the pain. Such a statement of life as we so often live in the moment.