Dieing for you the big day.

The next day she came out of the hospital. She thought that she was alright, she still had scars from the cuts she made.    It would be a couple of months before her cuts were healed.    He was outside waiting for her, She quickly hugged him, they got into the silver-red car and went to the (Du`e -Twa) a french restraunt that was reserve only.    When she stepped out of the car she was in awe.    He had reserved a table for two a week in advance.    They wen't inside and were quickly seated. They ordered the finest wine, he ordered the cooked salmon and she ordered the fille minion.    When they were done they ordered a lava chocolate cake with a chocolate moose on the side. When they finished he got down on one knee and asked. "Will you marry me?"

    It took her a while to answer because she was so in shock that he would ask her this.    She said in the faintest voice "yes" He got the bill and payed, they left and went to his house. The wedding would be in a couple of months the warm summer days of august. She wanted to have a big wedding and all of the caterers and a musician that played her favorite song. She was alone in her house and was lonely and kept thinking about her fiance she had no clue what he was doing. Her thoughts got the better of her and she called him to ask if he was alright he said that he was and for her not to worry that he would never go out on her. She said that that had better not happen but set her mind at ease and told him she loved him and trusted him, then hung up.

Reviews

[VFrausto]

Both paragraphs have a bunch of stuff mushed into them. They need to be read through and the main point for each paragraph figured out. The flow of the paragraphs need to be worked on. Its like there are big chunks missing from one part to the next. Such as shes at the hospital, I'm assuming, then out of no where shes at a restaurant, then she at home alone. Each place should at least be separated by three different paragraphs.