MY INNER VOICE

A poem about depression

My Inner Voice

 

Acid eats at my over exhausted brain.

It burns............. this never ending pain.

Falling, colliding, constantly sliding.

I desperately seek my place of hiding.

 

Evaporating away from  it all,

escaping this constant brawl

in my bruised mashed up head.

 Spiralling toward a need to be dead.

 

Or will I only leave flesh

and retain my unhappy mesh.

The webs that keep me jailed

within this mind where I have failed.

 

Never.............. good enough.

Feeling fake............. a constant bluff.

Bleak and pale................ in comparison.

A mere shadow............ of a skeleton.

 

Seeking beauty from outside

has led me to miss my guide.

The mirrors within my heart

were left black and tarred.

 

Taking myself by the hand,

braking down the crusts of filth and sand,

I found the first shimmer of light.

The one that sets my heart a flight.

 

I realize my strength is from within

and that from now I will begin

to trust this sparkle from my core,

finding life no longer such a chore.

 

Suddenly I feel strong, pure and no longer bleak

as I seek and constantly speak,

with this ethereal voice as my guide.

I no longer shy away and hide.

 

I have learnt to see and trust

what is inside my wide expanse..... and lust,

for my inner feeling, the one from the source.

Now the only road that sets my course.

 

 

 

Author's Note

I have been depressed before yet am lucky not to suffer from it on an ongoing basis. Yet it affects so many people world wide. This poem takes moments of my time spent in this space.

Reviews

[Just_Joshing]

I have a few friends who used to suffer from depression, so I showed them this poem, and they said it matched their feelings at the time quite accurately. Great job! More to the point though, I really liked the use of rhyme (I stated this on more than occasion, I believe). Also, the use of descriptive language was quite adept! Overall, a gem of a poem!

[Elmarie]

Hello there Thank you for the motivating review even with the subject matter being a bit depressing :) Blessings El

[Inject Positivity]

This is so well observed El... I loved how you have shown the true feelings of depression... I have been there and I know how terrible it feels... Your poem gives a wise advice that the light we need to clear away our inner darkness can't be found outside because it is always there on our inside... Such inspiring words...

Sincerely
Dhiman

[Elmarie]

Thank you for gracing my page with such a lovely review. Hope this msg finds you well. Blessings El

[GalaxyGhost]

The style is so unique, especially with the font changing halfway through and the uses of ellipses is interesting. I relate because I suffered from mild depression and getting better. Additionally, I still battle with anxiety and having both anxiety and depression was so hellish and many times found myself in a really dark place. This is why I write, write, write and read, read, read so I can think about something else than myself.

[Elmarie]

Hi GG so nice of you to stop by. Yes it is a rather yukky place to be and I am happy to find myself in much better shape these days. My biggest obstacle is stress LOL dealing with my three little muffins can be a challenge, but they are the reason I shine so bright these days. Writing has been my savior on many a dark night. Thank you for blessing my page. El

[GalaxyGhost]

You're welcome!

[barleygirl]

You are so correct about depression being epidemic these days. You've described it powerfully & artfully. I especially love the 4th stanza, which is so brief, yet so spot-on. I actually look pale & drawn when I'm depressed -- it's like a completely different face. I am partial to messages that show us the bleakness, yet leave us with something hopeful . . . that's why I love that you're showing the journey to feeling good again. The second half of your poem is so hopeful & inspiring. To me, such words are so helpful for someone who's in the middle of the black.

[Elmarie]

Aw thank you barlygirl. Try as I may most of my poems are still dark and they do not make it onto this site, for fear of making people sad LOL. Personal dribble..... So I spend my time mainly on writing for children. That really makes me happy. Nice to connect. Blessings El

[Ana Papaya]

It comes in waves often but I'm glad there is always a happy wave among the ripples of sad.
Beautifully written.

[Elmarie]

You are lovely P and I appreciate your feedback.
Blessings
El

[Ana Papaya]

My pleasure to read your work El. :)

[Coyote Poetry]

I enjoyed the journey and wisdom learned.
"I realize my strength is from within
and that from now I will begin
to trust this sparkle from my core,
finding life no longer such a chore."
Above lines. True wisdom. I liked the flow of thoughts leading to strong ending. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Elmarie]

Coyote Thank you so much for you lovely review.

Blessings

EL

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome. I did like the logic of the poem.

[Richard🖌]

Hi, Dear El : )
It's just Richard, come to pay a visit and enjoy one of your excellent pieces of poetry … I hope this finds you as happy as you are in your profile picture, and most certainly not depressed.
I love your refreshing candidness and honesty, El … it can really take a lot of guts, eh?
One would think mania is the opposite of depression, and both seem too radical a condition to make for a very enjoyable and full life experience; still, we must play the cards we're dealt, and it appears you've managed to beautifully turn yours into a winning hand. How encouraging and inspiring this is for those with either/or both of these maladies whom are fortunate to read this powerful and deeply meaningful poetic rendering.
The creativity, deft word selections/usages, and the mind-catching arrangements of presentation highlight your experience and thoughtfulness in writing this brilliant piece, El, and I have tremendously enjoyed reading it more than I've words to properly convey, except to offer my most sincere and concise gratitude to you for stepping forward to share it with us … blessing and hugs to you, El, and I bow most gratefully and admiringly to you for your wonderful victory over this often debilitating and destructive mental dis-ease.

I am so proud of you for that and celebrate you for the amazing poetess you are … hugs! ⁓ Richard


Okay, El, after the following I'll be ready to duck … LOL!

Finally, "techy stuff" (shared completely in the spirit of helping you be a better writer and improve this impressive and worthwhile poem):
Right-off, it strikes me that your font is about two sizes too large to fit the screen and to allow for a completely enjoyable read (a too large font size overwhelms the poem).
The Quatrain is among my favorite forms, El, and you've done an excellent job with yours in the a,a,b,b, etc; rhyme scheme. You've kept each couplet at an even enough count for adequate balance, and your word placement is such that your work has a smooth enough flow to allow the reader's interest to remain unhampered from beginning to end … no small accomplished in unmetered verse … this requires considerable skill.
Issues you might consider addressing to make this work even more impressive, than it already is, would be to correct the double-space in L6, in L8 make it "toward", V3L3 make it either "the webs that keep" or " the web that keeps", V5L3 and 4 make it either "mirrors were" or "mirror was", V6 make it "breaking down", V7L4 omit the unnecessary "And" that stunts the flow.
I can see your punctuation's intent is for poetic expression and impact; so, I'll not go there, except to suggest proper end of line punctuation and to resist unnecessarily and incorrectly beginning every line with a capital, which often confuses readers where one thought, topic, moment, etc; ends and another begins, as does lack of end line punctuation tend to cause a "rushed/run-on" effect.

Here's hoping something may have proven helpful … at least I've done my best for you, Dear El. : )

[Elmarie]

Hello Richard
Thank you for becoming my friend. I was deeply touched by your review. For someone to take the time to leave such a detailed review is a precious gift, and it takes skill to put it in a way that inspires a writer to look at their writing with a fresh eye. I so appreciated your comprehensive editing suggestions and changed my poem accordingly. I will take the time to read through your writing and will not make a secret of the fact that I am looking forward to it. Thank you again.
Blessings
El

[Richard🖌]

Marvelous, El, simply brilliant … now, I feel so much safer … LOL!

What an outstanding attitude you have, and how flexible your understanding and intent … you'll one day become a poet laureate if you keep at it in this way, M'Lady.

Grateful hugs 'n many joyful blessings! ⁓ Richard

[Elmarie]

You are too kind Sir Richard :) So happy to connect.

Blessings

El

[Richard🖌]

Me, too, El!

[KWP]

I have never suffered with depression, I have friends that do and I will admit - it is hard for me to fathom, but your words ring true, it's only you who can keep your inner light shining bright. And to realise that every moment is passing and with have a chance to approach each one with fresh and new vigour.

Easy to say ... not always so easy to do.

Nice write X

[Elmarie]

Thank you for stopping by and yup it's easier said than done.

Blessings
EL

[Diamond]

Very inspiring....your "moments of time" is very significant for those who not have a shoulder to cry on.
Never.............. good enough
Feeling fake............. a constant bluff
Bleak and pale................ in comparison
A mere shadow............ of a skeleton

all the suffering people fall in one of these categories.

[Elmarie]

Thank you for your kind words. El :)

[Meshalini]

Wow..this poem has a deep meaning..
I can feel it...good job..excellent..

[Elmarie]

Thank you Meshalini for your lovely review. :)
Blessings
El