Just For fun

Just For fun

A Poem by Solar Redemption

Hello, I say to everyone.

How have you been? I ask them.

But no response from the typical men.

This, Im sure, has no real flow,

I'm just trying to put on a show.

I'm not well experienced with rhyme, 

but I can play music in time. 

Just trying to find what real.

And hey, maybe I'll strike a writing deal.

I don't usually know how to place my words,

And maybe sometimes it's like little hummingbirds,

Always flitting around

Is this real, or merely a nightmare?

True happiness is quite rare.

I am overcome by sleepiness. 

Not quite sure how far I will take this, 

I don't want my words to make me a star.

Simply have fun with some rhymes,

Well, I think that now I am Done.

© 2018 Solar Redemption


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Featured Review

Even tho it sounds like you are kinda writing a "throw-away" poem here, being silly or flippant or maybe not really thinking you have anything of substance to say . . . to me this is a writing lesson. I believe we must learn to be good observers before we can be good writers. Here you are observing yourself, down to the most seemingly insignificant details. These things may seem meaningless, but it's the stuff real life is made of . . . when we build a character in writing, we need to remember to bring in such everyday details & observations, so our characters come alive & feel authentic. To me, this is an exercise in watching yourself & noticing how you're reacting to each aspect of writing this! (((HUGS))) fondly, Margie

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

You did well my friend. The words danced to places and wild thoughts. I liked them. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

cute. you're trying & doing it and that's all that matters. keep with it ...

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Even tho it sounds like you are kinda writing a "throw-away" poem here, being silly or flippant or maybe not really thinking you have anything of substance to say . . . to me this is a writing lesson. I believe we must learn to be good observers before we can be good writers. Here you are observing yourself, down to the most seemingly insignificant details. These things may seem meaningless, but it's the stuff real life is made of . . . when we build a character in writing, we need to remember to bring in such everyday details & observations, so our characters come alive & feel authentic. To me, this is an exercise in watching yourself & noticing how you're reacting to each aspect of writing this! (((HUGS))) fondly, Margie

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I think these words go a long way for a lot of us. Many of us write poetry as a passion or an outlet (or both) and more often then not its just to be who we are without being perceived as someone another expects us to be.
Although I do find it funny how easy it is for me to interpret famous poetry in English class like its nothing special because, in the end, we're all just human writing snazzy words to express our emotions. Thanks for sharing!

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Cute, closing this poem was very fun to read.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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216 Views
5 Reviews
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Added on January 11, 2018
Last Updated on February 14, 2018

Author

Solar Redemption
Solar Redemption

Reedley, CA



About
Alternative goth, shy, loves music. I typically keep to myself, and am not very expressive. But when I write, it's like I'm some place else. I've been gone for a while, and I'm working on getting.. more..

Writing
Man Man

A Poem by Solar Redemption



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