He's Immortal

This poem is about what I think of God. Who He is and who we are. I wrote this poem when a relative of mine died. I was 15 then. I went to the hospital and when I came back, crying I wrote this poem.

He stepped in; crossed the road and stepped out...

He has lived because he died.

On his dead they cried.

I smiled warmly though

I knew where he has to go.

There was certain spark in his eye

Where I left him at the station and said goodbye.

He was in his best attire that day.

Through dark mists he was making his way.

He had an aura of certain victory.

I saw a bird (in him) left free.

The warrior look on his face.

A Godly smile in the eyes of grace.

He carried not any luggage.

He had set on another pilgrimage.

His shadow crossed mine

And there I found divine.

He walked a distance and looked at me

As if passing a blessing on me.

He walked an endless journey.

After every station I (people like me) bid farewell to thee.

I didn't see any end all the more so,

He lend me a secret though!

This man is me, He is you, He is we

Immortal is thee!

Author's Note

This is my idea of God, let me know yours.

Reviews

[Broken Soul]

The emotion of sadness is clearly expressed here, reading it I almost felt as if I was there myself. The way he passes to the afterlife is cleverly described, a story inside of a poem almost haha. I don't think the description is necessary, it's described well enough in the poem. I'm sorry you had to experience that at fifteen, a loved one dying. It can be tough when a loved ones die at such a young age. Many people in my life have died- I am fifteen years old. It's best to be optimistic about it, think of it as they're going to a better place, rather than staying on this wretched earth we call home. Good job. Welcome to WritersCafe.

[Mehak Mushtaq]

Thank you. Seems like you got my point :)

[Zizzy Douglas]

u're gud 2 go dear!

[Mehak Mushtaq]

:) Thankyou.

[David Scott]

Your heart is written on the page.
Not one to critique. Just to read, feel and support.

[quinfinn]

i have always noticed a calm grace in death and a knowing, at that last second, that better things lie ahead. i don't believe in god, however, i do believe in a great spirit, a creator, if you will and i have personal knowledge that death is a beginning....not the end. what we feel about death reveals what we feel about life, so i enjoyed this poem. your soul was showing.....

[KAOlmsted]

Your idea of god is sweet; I won't bore you (more like anger you, I suspect) with mine ;-) Thanks for sharing this with us.

[Mehak Mushtaq]

haha I would still love to know your idea of God. :) Anytime.

[Salar Majak]

I didn't see any end all the more so,
He lend me a secret though!
This man is me, He is you, He is we
Immortal is thee!


ilove the tone of the poem, it almost feels like i can here you say it!, beautifully sad!
i think too that we have alittle bit of God in side of us. great write

[Mehak Mushtaq]

Thank you :)

[Zizzy Douglas]

whoa......i lyk d spirit it entails .....u're such a poet! I'm marveld...

[Mehak Mushtaq]

Thank you! :)

[Zizzy Douglas]

u welcum......do u write satires?

[Mehak Mushtaq]

No, not really but I will soon. :)

[Zizzy Douglas]

hmm...so wats ur specialization? :-(genre)

[Mehak Mushtaq]

Philosophy.

[Zizzy Douglas]

whoa......dats kind f ar fun....dd u study dat in college?or?

[Mehak Mushtaq]

No, I didn't study it anywhere.

[Jack...]

I found this poem to be an interesting portrayal of Jesus in my aspect and not so much God...per se. It is very deep and dramatic and paints a portrait of a man who is all of us...always. Though reading the other review I can also see the loss of someone close, which is always devastating. To stand with them at the station and watch them off to the next world is a beautiful way to look at it.

[Mehak Mushtaq]

The someone was not actually that close. Thank you for your comments.