Dear man in Tana,

To the man in Tana…funny…I don’t have words. Okay…to the man in Tana who, at the moment, caused a clump to form in my throat and tears to flow, and to the memory of whom causes me to now stare blankly down in front of me, and notice that my heart is beating faster and my teeth are clenched:

I am sorry.

Eventually, I gave a bottle of water that others put next to you. And to what use? You couldn’t even open your eyes. That we might feel we contributed? That we might feel good about ourselves?

There is the voice that says: At least you have compassion. At least you did something.

And there is the voice that says: It is to no use. Besides, we are not allowed to give.

…(long pause)…

Frustration builds up. Anger builds up. Hopelessness builds up…Sadness builds up.

Okay, you get it…there is a build up.

Either it is released and channeled in a good way or a bad way or not at all.

Standing there, three meters from you, for an unbearable amount of time, and just having to wait until our leader showed up from out of the office, I had enough time to observe, ponder things, ha, and try to keep my composure �" I was a face of shock and horror (a little embarrassed even that I was not able to keep the tears in).

There are times when I cry out to God. He loves that we come to him boldly and honestly. There have been times when �" and I hate to admit it �" in my humanness I can help but swear loudly inside of me. There are times of both.

I HATE - and hate is a strong word - I HATE being a bystander.

How can we accept societies where no one does anything?

How can we accept societies where young children have to step around you and see you laying there, and then be dragged along by their mothers?

How can we accept societies where a man is paid by some official from the office to organize how you will be “removed”. And I’m sorry, but I don’t think caring for you and rushing you off to the hospital was the biggest priority.

Okay, this last part about being paid for “dealing with” you is only a guess, but it makes sense from my observations.

Now, notice how I didn’t use the word “why”? I am sure you also know why I didn’t use “why”. This world is broken. It is in tears. It is separated from its lifeline whose name is Christ.

Back to you. I thought then and I have thought since: What is your story? Do you have a family? Where did you live? What were you aware of as people stepped around you, rolled you to your side, put a bottle of water in your arms, stared at you, ignored you, and eventually…moved you? Were you in pain? Were you thinking anything? If you could, what would be your biggest wish for that very moment? And I wonder, how many people knew your name?

Maybe, if you hear me say what I am saying you would laugh. Maybe you were just drunk or something, but from your appearance I do not believe that is the case.

Later in the day, when we passed by the same place, you were not there.

Sorry if I’m thinking the worst of the world now, and I’m sorry if I’m making any wounds you have (point out at audience) worse, but I believe we saw a man dying right in front of us on the ground. I believe he left without a name, and I don’t believe that is okay. Everyone deserves a name.