She Loves Me ...She Loves Me Not

plagiarized cliche' with what i mean to be haiku ;)

she loves me      - 

  darkly dawn into grey

                                  oak limbs creak awake the day

                                  slightest light blinding

she loves me not -

  saffron crocus spreads 

                                        mirage  horizon blazes 

                                        pink and orange collide

she loves me      -

             mismatch of color 

                                        intoxicating wonder

                                        clematis climbing

she loves me not -

high noon in the sky  

                                    straight up blistering 

                                    monkey face orchid 

                                     

she loves me    -

low down cooling quiet

                            dusk approaches West Mountain  

                            lotus flower floats                               

she loves me not -

   fire born must go out

                                      nightshade turns to face the moon

                                      warming lights go out

she loves me        -

black velvet cloaks sky

                              mauve carnation vows deeply

                              dreaming bell flowers

                             

Author's Note

fun with flowers and haiku ... constructive critique always welcome ;)

Reviews

[Chris Shaw]

Hello Mr E. Your title grabbed me big time. Took me right back to when I would pluck the petals off daisy heads) replacing the she with a he though) On reflection how cruel that was. I really do like the haiku/senryu structure. There is so much that can be said in 17 syllables and far more between the lines too. These take skill to do well and yours are exceptionally colourful, flowery and scented. I have to say I do love the heady, intoxicating perfume of garden flowers. Imagery from dawn to sunset, complete with mountains and moonlight. A different kind of love poem, so very creative and very much enjoyed. I lingered here quite a while. Hope you are well my friend across the pond while Miss Covid is calling on us.

Chris

[Einstein Noodle]

thank you so much as always Christine ... you have a knack for seeing and feeling the whole of poems .. couldn't be more gratified for your review .. you are a dumplin' :) and very talented .. thanks so much for taking time to read and let me know your thoughts ... yeah .. Covid ... we need to remain updated on true substantiated facts about it but honestly .. i am pretty sick of so much coverage .. it sadly reminds me far to much of the body counts during the Viet Nam War ...we can't stay huddled in the cave any longer ... we risk life and limb every day .. all day ... before, during and after Covid .. we are well ..thank you .. and praying the same for you, yours and us all .. another day in the jungle right?! ;)))))))))))

[Chris Shaw]

Ha ha. Dumpling....

Hey fatty boom boom, sweet sugar dumpling.....

Can you remember those lyrics Mr E. You have put a wide smile on my face.

On a more serious note, I am so sorry that present circumstances are a reminder of Vietnam :(( That is a perpetual ache I would imagine.

[Einstein Noodle]

ahahaha no ... i'll have to look that one up ;) we have well enough ache and pain .. i think it the far better teacher than joy however ... so glad we can chat ... right here at the Cafe' .. i went on a bit of vacation .. just returned a couple days ago and finally am back in my groove ... lots of reading to do :) love on ya!

[AJNJ]

There is love in every aspect of creation. There is also combat in its microcosms and spheres. The positive and negative entwine together to create the beauty that is reflected in your words. Reading these elegant Haikus, I feel you must be a very keen observer of nature and the myriad of colours and creatures milling in it.

Though all the verses are breathtaking, my personal favorite for she loves me not would be the second where pink and orange collide as well as the monkey face orchid. For she loves me, the mauve carnations vowing deeply, just made me say wow.

A cliche with such a fine poetic twist! Loved by me.

[Einstein Noodle]

thanks for your time and encouraging words Jee! so happy you enjoyed .. the two you point out are also my favorites ... did you look up Monkey Orchid? they are incredible! peace brother! see you 'round the Cafe' :)))
E.

[AJNJ]

Indeed sir, having some relaxing moments of fun interspersed with reading great clever poetry. :) read moreIndeed sir, having some relaxing moments of fun interspersed with reading great clever poetry. :)

Monkey Orchid stirs up striking images. I'll look it up straightaway. Wow! Looked at it and that is stunning! Nature laughing at us??? I can hear her. Thanks for that one!

You are very welcome. See you sir :)

[gram linski]

hey, Mr E, really enjoyed this zen walk through your day, sounds like your garden grows fine fine fine

[Einstein Noodle]

Hey Sir Gram!! a zen walk ... love that ... makes me feel peace and calm at your mention of it ;) thanks for taking time always my friend ... i think we can use all the gardens we can get these days especially ... down yer neck buddy! ;)
E.

[Robert Trakofler]

The blazing brevity of the haiku still eludes this Bumbling Bunny when they are laid out in a string like this and having strong opposing forces... it makes for an extreme shift in the expressions creating its own melody I wish I spoke flower like some of you poets I spent the bulk of my existence in concrete flower beds:/ you are always clever Mr. Einstein!

[Einstein Noodle]

so...you worked for the Mob, Bad Bunny? :))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) love this review sir .. wish we all spoke flower more fully .. we need it me thinks! peace love and joy sir!
E.

[Pete]

you breathe new life into an oldie but goodie - haven't heard this one since i was a kid. very sharp, biting wording and imagery. looks like she loves you based on the petal count. monkey faced orchid caught me by surprise and tickled my funny bone. very creative and different. good stuff e. ... :)

[Einstein Noodle]

yeah! the monkey faced orchid is a bit out of place .. i was trying to use flowers with meanings that matched .. i saw the orchid and just had to use it .. thinking it has a face .. and the sun blistering our faces and skin ..just had to use it .. did you look it up? they are remarkable!! thanks for reviewing Pete .. always a pleasure to have your visits
E.

[Pete]

wow, just looked it up. never knew such a thing existed. i thought you were being figurative but it literally exists! dracula simia - so cool and incredible ... :)

[Einstein Noodle]

i know .. very rare! the orchid represents represents love, luxury, beauty and strength...so "she loves me not" blisters it ;)

[Neville]

this is very clever if you ask me.. in fact, it is bigly clever folks in the kinda way only haiku form and the occasional senryu can possibly be bigly clever.. N :)

[Einstein Noodle]

they are that aren't they Nev ...the form molds it .. thanks for reading .. glad you enjoyed.
E.

[Neville]

Enjoyed and muchly Gene :)