Sunlight in Her Hair

A man explains his love for his lover when with her on a beach.

As i lay down on the sandy floor i see  blue waves coming towards me. Crashing before they reach my feet. They glisten in the strong sunlight, that beats down so strong on this summer day. I turn to my right and look up. I see her hair shine in the light, and pretty smile. Her smile that makes me warmer than any sunny day. She comes closer to me and puts her hand on my cheek. What it feels like to be in love. Love is not just a kiss, but a kiss from her heart to mine. She pulls me in now and our lips touch.  love. i feel her skin brush against mine. Soft and smooth with pieces of sand clinging to her thigh. I hold her tight against me not wanting to let go. I think about cheap men who don't want a woman's love. Do they know how it feels? Do they know a woman's touch? She kisses me with passion, her eyes are closed. i Take in the moment and try remember this feeling. her hands around the back of my head, Her body making its way onto my lap. I kiss her back with all the feeling i have, trying to give back what she has given to me. She opens her eyes. I see blue beauty. She whispers "Baby I live you".

Author's Note

tell me what you think

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

"What it feels like to be in love. Love is not just a kiss, but a kiss from her heart to mine."
Real wisdom in the short story. I like the line above. Love is many things. Better to go slow and easy. Enjoy the good ride. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

As poetic as this is, I think it could be part of a short story or even a longer novel. It is quite nearly fully a scene spelled out to the point of feeling like a book. You have captured all the right parts of this moment. I like that is starts out before she has shown up in the "frame" of the writing. I feel like you should make this a fully developed short story at the least. Some short stories can be very emotive and not as structured as lots of other stories are expected to be. I like short stories that are like a snapshot in time and which don't force a beginning, middle, and end on a subject that doesn't have one. Even Nathanial Hawthorn wrote some short stories like this. I feel that there should be more to this though. It could have a few paragraphs before it and a long series of paragraphs after it. All together they can be a quite enjoyable short plot but without too much explanation. We already get that there is a girl and a guy and we don't need to know where they are or how they got there or who they are to each other. All that matters is the beauty of the interaction. You have summed that up well, but this should be just the jewel in the setting of more story around it. Give us an extension of this beauty. Tell about the little details like HOW you will give back what she has given you...Maybe it could take place over the course of a day and end as it gets dark...just a few hours even. This is the only real suggestion I can give for a scene so well explained.

[Faithfuldream]

Thank you. My intent was for this to be a short story. Can you read my new writings? It would be very helpful. I think i've progressed a little.

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

I will! Certainly.