Writing to Live or Living to Write

My heart bleeds in letters,

My Skin Scarred with ink,

My Age a large Number,

But my pen sets me free,

Teeth stained yellow from old smoke,

Mouth died purple from red wine,

My arteries clogged,

from the fats i have dined,

I Create a dream on parchment,

Hoping to stay alive,

But i know my time has come,

When my quill has run dry,

Author's Note

Something a lot must feel. I feel i was more creative with this poem than i usually am.

Reviews

[Lucy Morningstar &heart..]

Im sure you're not that old lol everyone feels old...hell, I'm almost 20 and sometimes I feel old.

One suggestion...you wouldn't say died here because that refers to actual death...when referring to coloring something, you'd say dyed :)

this is really quite awesome; well done, good sir

[Faithfuldream]

haha now i feel dumb. I switched a line from the original, the original i was talking about actual death. So that was my mistake. Thanks Lucy! I need more people to point out my faults!

[Lucy Morningstar ♥]

lol sorry if I do it a lot...I'm really kinda uptight about spelling and grammar stuff (I'm an English Major so they've trained me to be a Grammar Assassin)

[Faithfuldream]

Lucy my friend. I like criticism. It Is in which that helps me grow. Thank you. Please don't be shy.

[Lucy Morningstar ♥]

lol ok... :P

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

This is the kind of creativity I think really is worth the trouble. You are opening up here. It is framed well. The context is clear. You already have found a ready audience for just such a poem as this on this site, because we all bleed letters like you. The showing and not telling is very good on this one. You tell us things that you trust us to make the connections about, which is good writing. There are places I would alter this or that...For example, I always think a poem should either rhyme or not, but not take an inconsistent path. Since you have a near rhyme with the second and fourth lines of the second stanza, it feels like the fourth line of the first stanza should change.

[Faithfuldream]

True, it came out this way. I decided to leave it and see. I'm experimenting and want to see what works. Do you think it doesn't flow at all? Or is it just better to have consistency?

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

I think it flows fairly well, but it feels like it needs to have a bit more rhyming or a bit less...

[annabellee]

"My heart bleeds in letters,
My Skin Scarred with ink,
My Age a large Number,
But my pen sets me free,"

Lovely write and very relatable. I enjoyed it a lot. Also the title is chosen cleverly.

[Faithfuldream]

Thank you kind Annabelle. Lovely review, inspiring me to write on.

[annabellee]

you're most welcome :)

[Call_Me_Miss_Imperfect]

I really like this poem. It has such a powerful message behind it. I took it as a person that's a writer. This person is like addicted to writing. Even though they're aging..they're also trying to hold onto their desire to write. But since they're such in bad shape, they decide it's time to let go of themselves completely. Since writing was the majority of their life. Maybe this isn't how you wanted me to see this poem, but I guess everyone has different views. It was absolutely creative and awesome. Well done, my dear friend. Keep writing! :)

[Faithfuldream]

The beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. Especially in poetry. Each person has their own beauty and when they add their own take on what i have created, It just makes the world all that much more beautiful.

[Call_Me_Miss_Imperfect]

You are definitely right about that. You are an intelligent guy. :)