Experience

I've been experiencing....
a sense of lost.
I've been hearing...
nothing.
I've been walking...
with no aim.
I've been experiencing....
experience.

I've been forgetting you.

Instead...I remember him.

I've been feeling...
remorse? guilt? shame?
As he touched me I thought...
your face.
I saw your face.
And like ireful monkeys screeching in treetops
I made a fuss.

He was there and you were...
nowhere.
You were nowhere to be found.

When we talk, you want to know about my day.
Then you have nothing else to say.
You always worry, wonder if I'm alright.
I am...
fine.

But I've been forgetting you.

I don't want to.

I don't want to admit you held your grip too tight.
Or that when I needed you, you loosened your hold.
I don't want to admit we were going nowhere
FAST.
I don't want to admit that all the little,small,minuscule
things I used to do, annoyed you.
Or that almost everything you would say
lest a compliment or an "I love you"
Annoyed me.

I've been writing...
based on experience.
I've been seeing...
more than I've ever seen before.
I've been wanting...
to cry to you
Whilst knowing...
I should keep quiet.

I've been keeping...
secrets.
I've been moving...
on.
I've been writing...
all about you.
Although you...
you will never know

That you consumed me.
That my heart broke with yours.
That I never meant to hurt you.
And I thought you were perfect.
You had so many flaws,
I would never try to change you.
You were the closest thing to love
I have ever known.

Reviews

[Jaffa Forbes]

Good stuff! Thanks for sending me a read request. This has a real fractured feel to it. It stops and starts and leans this way and that. The constant use of '...' ellipsis (ellipsis?) is interesting and makes me thinks of, well, thinking. Very sad poem I guess. Tiny little point which you don't have to do at all, but might be nice in terms of style, at the end of the stanza before the last you could remove the full stop off 'you will never know'. By doing that it makes the emjambement (emjambement?), the joining of the the two stanzas work better; they'll flow into each other.
Nice!
Keep well,
Jaff

[Lyrical Love]

Guuuuuuurrrrl friend!!!!!!
Loved this...soooo much it feels as if it poured from my pen.
Loved the flow and the ellipsis usage.
It made me think of you having more emotion behind the words selected.
I need to print this and mail it to someone! lol!
Brilliant write!

[Gandré]

Experiencing experience, that�s something!
I loved the ending.

[Jenny-Jen-Jen]

I really liked this poem. In a way you kept us in a fog, painting thousands of pictures at once. Usually, I would frown upon that but you made it work. The emotion added to this poem was well done. You seem to do a good job of expression the emotions you want in your writing. All in all, great job and awesome write :]

[S-W-E-E-T-S]

moving on?
not quiet,
I see irresolution here. and as writers we strive to find the answers in our words, not in ourselves. Its one of our flaws. you'll get it thought. Wonderful write.

[Bella]

I can relate to this. There is so much emotion in this writing! Great, great work. I really like this.

[M. View]

Man have I been down that road. Love this one it was so inspiriational and full of emotions.

peace

[Charles D. Moorer]

Boy, have I been there. Nicely put. Nicely written with just the right tone. No bitterness, just moving on.

[THE LOST ROSE]

Standing "O". I love this piece because this is the first poem that tells a true story of love. Sometimes we love people that are not perfect but we love them anyway. Sometimes people we love we could never have because of them actually getting the way. I love the acknowledgement then the "bam" the discovery. This was great, the flow was great and the layout supported the emotions. Thanks a million for the inspiriation you gave me today.