Chapter Two

Kayla

When Varen pulled away from me, I wondered at first what he was doing. Then, as I met his eyes, I understood.

Varen had a medical condition that haunted him whenever he was with other people. When he got sexually excited, he blacked out and, like an animal, ran on his mating instinct. It wasn't like it was his fault; he hated it. More than he hated Matt. He couldn't help himself. This was his first spell with me, but it was this medical condition that had made him break up with his last girlfriend; he almost did it to her and ended it for her own good.

I looked at him, and his green eyes were screaming what his mouth couldn't; RUN!

I glanced at his shorts and, sure enough, there was a thick bulge in the material. Once an erection started with him, it didn't stop.

I got on my feet and bolted for the door. I heard him moving on the carpet behind me, starting to get up, then forcing himself back down, then starting to get up again; he was fighting with himself to not run after me. I didn’t pause as I flew around the corner and into the hallway, sprinting up the stairs. I heard his footfalls behind me and knew he was gone.

 

The Varen I knew was gone; I was certain of it now. He’d was now  an animal, a beast. His inner demon was in control. If, God forbid, he does anything tonight, I told myself, you have to remember it’s not his fault.

 

I paused a moment at the top of the stairs to decide which way to go. Run away outside, or stay inside? It was autumn, and going outside with no shoes on would hurt my feet, especially with all the acorns and branches we had in our yard. But if I stayed inside, I would only have so much space to get away from�"

 

My thoughts scrambled as something jumped on me from behind, knocking me to the floor with a hard thud. Suddenly my cheek pressed against the wooden hallway floor, hot breath on the back of my neck. A heavy weight pressed on me from behind; I could barely breathe.

 

Damn! I paused for too long. I stopped to collect my flitting thoughts and I paid the price. He had me.

 

But not for long. At least, I hoped.

 

“You hesitated... That’s what they always told you not to do, little schoolgirl,” Varen whispered into my neck, his breath warm and raising goosebumps.

 

I made a soft whimper sound that was genuine, but partly to keep him talking so he would be distracted when I struck.

 

“You always told them, ‘Yes, mom, I know! I’ll be able to do it if it ever happens. I wish you would stop lecturing me.’ Yeah, little sis, I heard her giving you those little talks, even from in my room. You cannot imagine how much it hurt... How much it hurt to listen to them talk about it like it would happen... It made me hate myself even more.”

 

Right then was the perfect time to strike, but the tone in his voice stopped me. It wasn’t lusty like it was a moment before. It was sad, and a little wistful, as if in the back of his mind he was imagining a life where he could do the stuff he couldn’t then. I wondered if he was starting to fade out of the phase, and decided I would urge him to keep going.

 

“I’m sorry... She wanted to keep me safe is all.”

 

He sighed, and where I cold feel his erection against my thigh before, I only felt a slight bump. Without thinking, I shifted my weight so my cheek wasn’t pinched between his weight and the floor. Like a Pavlonian response, he stiffened again.

 

Suddenly, he had my flipped over and his hands were cupping the sides of my face, his lips mashed against mine. His hands left my face and roamed down to the bottom of my shirt, slipping under the hem and finding my breasts to squeeze them and rub his thumbs over the n*****s. I gasped at the strange feeling it sent through me�" I’d never felt this before.

 

His breathing was heavy and loud in my mouth as he slipped my shirt over my head in such a fluid motion I could have thought he didn’t do it at all. His kiss had shocked me frozen, but I regained my movements and thrust a knee up, trying desperately to fight him off�" a battle I knew I would lose.

 

He latched his hands to my upper arms and whispered, his face tucked in my neck, “You wanna play hard-to-get? Fine. But we’re doing it on a bed, the proper way.” Suddenly I found myself in his arms, and I screamed. I bucked my back and scratched at his face, but that was all I could do before he latched his arms onto me like vices. He crossed into the hallway that led off the kitchen and into my parents’ bedroom, throwing me on the bed and locking the door behind him. He stood there before me, hands on his hips. A wicked smile crossed his face.

 

“Lay on your back. Hands spread out to the sides, legs spread out too; like you’re making a snow angel. Yeah, that’s it. Stay. There. Got it? Don’t move at all. I can make this nice, or naughty. I’m pretty sure you’d prefer the first option.” He walked around the bed and stopped next to my head. Knowing I wouldn’t be able to move if I wanted to, I closed my eyes and latched my lips together. My chin trembled and tears ran down the sides of my face. I felt his hand touch me to brush them away; I flinched away from the touch.

 

He clucked his tongue. “No, no, don’t move, I said. No need to cry, baby... I’ll be nice. But keep your eyes closed until I tell you to open them.”

 

I felt the bed shift and knew he sat on the edge, close to my head. He leaned in close and kissed my forehead lightly before pulling away; a quiet sob left my mouth. He went down to my chest and kissed my breasts�"where I would have them, anyway, I was only nine�"and I shuddered. He kissed a curving path down my stomach and stopped at the waistline of my jeans. I tensed and he stopped.

 

“Hmm... I think I’m going to have you do a little favor for me. No, I just think I’ll...” He let his voice fade and bent his kips back down to the waistline of my jeans. He reached up and undid them quickly, sliding them down and leaving me lying on the bed in only underwear. The chilled air hit my legs and I shivered, wanting so bad to curl them to my chest but not daring to, afraid of what he would do.

 

He moaned slightly as he ran his hands down my legs, sliding them back up and hooking his hands in my underwear, pulling them down.

 

That was when I lost it.

 

I started to sob, my body shaking and tears wetting my ears. “Varen, please, snap out of it! I love you, you’re my brother, but please, don’t do this.”

 

He ignored me, lightly touching my navel where hair would be growing soon. Humiliation coursed through me, running through my bloodstream and causing me to sob even harder. He stood up, and I heard the whisper of clothing against skin before he lay back down beside me; he turned me so I was on my side; I could feel his body against mine. I could feel the warmth of his erection against my thigh. I ducked my head into my chest and tensed, sobbing once more before holding my breath.

 

He breathed out in a loud huff and pushed his length against my legs and into my folds, erupting pain from there up my spine to my head. I cried out and sobbed more, out of control of my actions as I thrashed around, desperate to get away from the Demon inside Varen. He latched his arms tight around mine, keeping my upper body still; he wrapped his legs tightly around mine to keep those still. I couldn’t move. Sobbing, I stopped struggling and went limp, blocking out the pain like I had taught myself in all the years of being whipped by my stepfather’s belt.

 

Yeah, it blocked out the pain, but it didn’t block out the feeling of him deep inside me, thrusting in and out, his skin slapping against my skin and the sound echoing throughout the room. I cried out again when he hit some sort of wall inside me, where my vaginal canal ended; pain shot up my spine like being stabbed with many knives, and I tensed. “Varen, snap out of it... You’re hurting me, Varen! VAREN!” My voice ended in a scream as he hit my cervix again. I could feel his hips shaking and trembling. My toes curled into my feet and I arched my back as a stream of hot liquid jetted into me.

 

Varen slumped; he just totally relaxed. He rested his head on my shoulder so his face was close to mine and whispered, “See, that wasn’t so bad, was it...? It was amazing for me.”

 

It was then, in that moment, with Varen breathing on my face and my whole torso throbbing and my skin covered in a film of sweat, that I realized something that made my chest constrict and sobs rip out of me once again.

 

I had just lost my virginity unwillingly, at the age of nine, to my own brother, Varen Brakefield.

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