Chapter Three

Varen

When I came to, everything seemed muddled. Dulled. Blurry. Hazy.

I was aware of something-someone, shaking beneath me. I opened my eyes and lifted my head to see Kayla's face; Red, blotchy, and wet. She had been the shaking- my head was on her chest and she had been sobbing. I wondered why for a second, until it all came came back to me, in flashes, images, of me, and her, and-

I threw my weight backward and landed on my a*s on the floor, making a loud thump sound through the house and wobbling the water in the fishtank.

"F**K!!" I screamed, clawing at my face, totally disgusted with myself. "GOD, NO! OH, GOD D****T, NO!" I sobbed into my hands, blubbering, wallowing in guilt and shame, forgetting about Kayla. That she would need me. Need the real me. To comfort her. As I comforted her from her nightmares.

"Varen?" Kayla's voice, thick with tears, hesitantly uttered my name and cut like a knife through my bubble of despair.

I looked at her through a blur of tears, her body a big blob of skin-color against a bigger blob of dark green. "Kayla, God, Kayla, I'm so sorry, I didn't even think, I just-" I choked on my words; they were coming out too fast. "You know I didn't mean to, that wasn't me, Kayla, please don't hate me, I'm so sorry! Oh, God, I'm a monster, an animal, Kayla, God, what do you want me to do? I'll do anything you want-"

"Varen." Her voice stopped my rambles in their tracks. Her voice cracked. "It's okay. I don't h-hate you. Just-" She paused, wiping at her eyes with the heels of her hands. Her strong fascade crumbled as she looked at me, and she threw herself into my arms and cried against my chest.

I knew, when our parents got home, I was in for a major beating.