Chapter Two

I crack my eyes open to be assaulted by bright light. I squint as I try to remember where I am for a brief moment before the previous night appears in my memory. Groaning, I sit up and land my feet on the floor. A blanket I don't remember falls to the floor, crumpling like a man hit on the back of the head with a club. I had slept in the same position all night, with my legs hanging off the bed and my arms at my sides. My neck has a major crick in it, and I slowly roll my my head in a circle, hearing a series of pops.

Then it hits me. I never went home last night. My father would be livid. I checked my phone- 3 missed calls from him.

"S**t!" I yell, rushing out of the bedroom, tripping over the blanket and catching myself on the doorjamb. Cursing to myself, I grab a piece of blank paper off of the bar, and a pencil next to it.

Varen,

Thanks so much for everything last night. I dunno

if you want me to wake you up so I won't, since

it's Saturday. I never got home last night, my father's

going to be mad. I won't bring you into it.

-Raven

I wonder suddenly where he slept, and peek in the living room to find him on the couch, half-on and half-off. The blanket that had been draped over the back of the couch had fallen to the floor. I drape it over him and he twitches. I write my phone number on the edge of the note and place it on the coffee table before unlocking the door and stepping out into the morning sunlight. I get my car out of the drainage ditch and drive home, anxiously tapping my fingers against the steering wheel.

 

"I waited for you all damn night, Raven! I can't believe you! You pulled over on the side of the side of the road because you were tired? You didn't even call me!!" My father shouts at me from across the island out run-down kitchen. There is stuff taking up all of the counterspace; a coffeemaker, moldy loaves of bread, having never made it into the trash; dirty plates, swarmed by flies and the nasty smell of spoiled food; discarded glasses filled with various liquids, some being milk, orange juice, and soda; clean dishes, having made it out of the dishwasher but not into the cupboard; empty gallons of milk; a discarded and worn book or two. The sad part was that I had cleaned this place spotless just a couple months ago.

And my father had promised to clean up after himself.

Just like every promise, it never happened.

Just like his promise to give me a measly five dollars to go to the homecoming dance that is coming up. Just like his promise to get me something, anything, for my birthday that costs more than a dollar from a dollar store. Just like his promise to clean up after himself when my first boyfriend/love/kiss/everything and I went to his parents' cottage for a week and came straight back so he didn't think I was a slob. But of course it didn't happen, and Todd, coming from a family that lives in a house that looks like that in a magazine; cold, sterile.

"Dad, I'm sorry. You know how bad it is to drive while drowsy; it's as bad as driving drunk. I was too tired to call you. Chill out."

His hand twitches and I know he wants to hit me. But he would never dare. He used to hit me regularly, but I called the police and he almost went to jail. That was when he stopped. He knows I'm not afraid to do it again. "Don't tell me what the f**k to do, Raven. Remember, you're just a little girl."

He has a point. He's a 400-pound 6-foot tall man. He could easily beat me, if the police and the laws weren't an issue. I'm only 145 pounds and 5'6" tall. Varen is about 5'11", a lot taller than me. He had muscles; He wasn't lanky. But he also wasn't buff. He was perfect. A little tall, but perfect.

I shake my head to clear my wandering thoughts. "Sorry, Dad..." I hang my head head like I always do when he threatens me. It's kind of fun to make him mad, but just plain stupid to make him mad enough to hit you.

"Go to your room, Raven. I don't want your backtalk happening any more, understand?"

I not meekly. "Yes, dad. I understand." I turn and head for the stairs, which you go to to get into the hallway that my room leads off of. I'm almost there when he calls my name again, and I turn fearingly (fake, but still,) to words him, looking through my eyelashes. The look on on his face makes me look at him full-on. He looks so sad, in fact, that I rush towards him and wrap my arms around his waist. It's been so long since I hugged him, I forget that my arms can't fit around his waist.

He stiffens at first, then relaxes and hugs me back. "You're grown into such a beautiful young lady..." He murmurs in my ear, his breath on my neck raising goosebumps. "I love you so much, yet I have these moments... When I'm such an a*s to you. I'm sorry, Raven, I was just so worried... I wish you would have called, even just said you were okay, and hung up... Next time please call me?" He sounds so sad, so guilty, it makes me forgive him. For everything.

"I love you too, Daddy," I murmur, "I'll call you next time. I promise."

"Thank you," He says in a trembling voice. "I don't know what I would do if I lost you, I already lost your mother, I can't lose you too..."

I don't know what to say so I make sympathetic cooing noises. He sighs after a while, and murmurs, "I- I'm tired, I'm going to go to bed..." He pulls away and ruffles my hair before trudging up the stairs. I hear a door softly close, and let myself fall on the couch.

Hanging my head in my hands, I groan. For some reason, it's always so much easier to hate somebody then to care about them. Granted, I never truly hated my father. But I did dislike him and the way he did things; he had hurt me on too many occasions for me to truly trust him.

Since it was still only about 9:30 AM, I decided I would go on a jog. Slowly making my way up the stairs, I find a pair of sweats and a tank top, tying on my shoes before heading out the door.

I only take jogs when I really need to think. To be honest, I hate running. It hurts my feet and makes me sweat profusely. But really, it keeps your body moving and active while allowing you to think; it was mindless activity. Which is what I need at the moment.