Thank you!

This is for the love of my life, the picture should tell you who lol but ill just tell you, its roxast

Once I was covered in darkness, these Needles’s pressed against my back

I had sunk so low that I even lost despair

I could not take it anymore living my life every day in such pain and misery

How on earth can anyone live this way?

All I wanted was for someone to take me in their arms so that they could comfort me

So I could finally let out these emotions that were locked deep down inside me

Then I realized that I was a fool for ever trying

That there was no point to it all

Then form a distance you called out to me

Why must you do this to yourself?

Then you took a hold of my hand and more importantly my heart

You brought me out the darkness and into the light

It’s all thanks to you that I am alive here

Without you life would mean nothing

I want to thank you for being a part of my life

 

Author's Note

also this was based of a song that i love, but dont even try to sing along or make a conection to the lryics lol my mind works strangly like that XD and notice the t in the picture above

Reviews

[CecilA]

GDM,

It sounds as though you are close to being finished with these three chapters; other than a couple of words I recommend that you check out. A quick reading aloud will alert you to them. But don't beat it to death or it will loose it's originality.

What are your plans for the future of this work? I look forward to what you have in store for us.

I like that you added 'You asked.' instead of 'You said.' It seems more heart felt which suits your theme in this letter.

Thank you for letting me be a true friend.

Sincerely,

Cecil

[Anonymous Girl]

Wonderful :)

[Rika]

Thank you very much!!!

[Anonymous Girl]

Its okay

[Bluefire]

That's soooo sweet, I'm so happy you guys are back together! ^^

[Rika]

u are? thanks!!

[Bluefire]

No problem ^^ you guys are a cute couple and I hate to see anyone fight.

[Rika]

Thanks blue fire!!!

[Bluefire]

No problem, dude. :3

[♪Barklight♪]

awww! you two are so cute you know that. i'm so happy for both of you, good luck with everything!

[Rika]

Thanks ^-^

[The Invisible Girl]

Beautiful letter! Keep writing!! :)

[Rika]

Thank you!!

[Lino Rie]

What Wonderful words. ^-^

[Natasha]

a few grammar issues and spelling issues need to be resolved in the poem

content wise, this was a good surface level poem when it came to emotion and your psychological thoughts

it seems as if this should almost be a letter like "dear blank, " and read that way

[Rika]

Haha I have done two letters all ready, maybe I will

[Rika]

i changed it to that format and got a littel caried awayd XD

[Natasha]

nice work!! on the editing

[Rika]

thanks!

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

This was a sweet poem. You did a great job. She definitely deserved this. As long as both of you are happy I'm glad. Roxast, I love you and want the best for you girlie. And GDM you deserve happiness as well. I don't want to hear that you are sad anytime soon. This was a beautiful. Thank you for sharing.

[∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿]

Awh love you too Angie!

[Angie Diane♥♥]

:3 yay I feel loved. :D

[Rika]

Love u too Angie!

[Angie Diane♥♥]

Yay! :)

[∠( ᐛ 」..]

*emotional tears* .... Beautiful .... Beautiful ;-;
I am truly in love with this, I mean ... I really REALLY REALLY REALLY love this more than gold and diamonds..... But I feel so ungrateful ;__; this poem is just to much.
Every word made me smile happily and joyful, when I finished reading .... I bursted out tears and sobs.
Every beautiful word you wrote in this poem really blown my mind and really touched my heart ;u;
Thank you lovely, for this truly amazing poem

[Rika]

T.T thank you!!!!!!

[∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿]

Why u angry D:

[Rika]

I'm happy!!

[CecilA]

GDM,

'I had sunk so low that I even lost despair.' Where in your genius mind do you find these profound expressions of grief? I have been there emotionally but I never could have described it like you. The way you use words to express an emotion is a gift.

Then 'All I wanted is for someone to take me in their arms so that they could comfort me.' A simplistic yet seemingly unattainable solution to your life's delirium. I love the way you propose a way out rather than stop the story with an abrupt stalemate.

'Then from a distance you called out to me: Why must you do this to yourself?' Rather than say, 'Here are my open arms, I'll save you from your despair.' You allow us to share in the solution to your problem. It adds intrigue to the flow of your story. No one can change you but you. We have to be open to receive help. I love it.

Suggestion: delete 'You said'.

'Then you took hold of my hand and my heart.' I don't believe you need 'also'. I love the way romance is part of the healing; not just physical. You could add 'and more importantly, my heart.' If that fits into your poetic flow.

'I want to thank you for being a part of my life.' Love the ending. In a few words you have told a life's story.

Once again, you have allowed me to share a part of your life through your great poetry. Thank you.

I believe you should publish a booklet of your poems.

Sincerely,

Cecil

[Rika]

i fix those things and well got caried away with the editing XD

[Mark Emerson]

Deep or what I loved it hurt pain and hen love it was great keep up the good work

[Rika]

thanks mark!