The Plunger (A True Story)

This happened when I was child and is still told at family get together's

                                                                        THE PLUNGER

The water wouldn't drain away

The hole was blocked with hairs

I shouted to my lover

To fetch the plunger from downstairs

She came right up with tool in hand

Gave it straight to me

I pushed and pulled with all my might

To try and work it free

After about a minute

The water did drain away

"I think I'll have a bath"

I heard my lover say

She put the plug into the hole

Fiddled with the taps

She then began to undress

While I fondled with her baps

As she bent across the tub

Her firm bottom cheeks on show

I got a naughty feeling

My head said yes but heart said no

I looked at it than at tool in hand

This urge I couldn't stop

I took a swing with all my might

And then heard a massive WALLOP

It stuck fast upon her bum

Like a limpet on a rock

We both looked at each other open mouthed

Not knowing who got the biggest shock

She said "Please won't you get it off"

But it was stuck like glue

How to free a plungered bum

I didn't have a clue

At first I thought it funny

But then saw the panic on her face

I thought she'd have got the joke

But apparently it was not the case

So I gave a tug with all my might

But failed to get it loose

I joked it could come in handy

"I can carry you around the hoose"

Then I thought I'd solved it

I jammed the handle in the door

I pulled and pulled till my face turned red

But then fell down on the floor

She said "Why don't you make a little hole

To try and break the seal?"

I said "If you think I'll ruin a good plunger

Come on now girl get real"

I said there's nothing more I can do

You'll have to go to A & E

She said "I can't do that

What will people think of me?"

Then the tears began to flow

Upset by this farce

"I'm going to have to go through life

With a plunger on my arse"

I got some soap from off the sink

Got a finger wet and slippy

I ran it around the plungers edge

By now she'd turned so lippy

Naughty words filled the air

My ears were burning hot

Was I glad that I'd done it

No Sir I was not

Gently I moved the plunger

Till the soap it did the trick

The seal was broke and cheeks sprung free

Released with a soapy click

She turned around and took a look

At her bottom in the glass

In the middle of her peachy cheek

Was a red circle on her a*s

So the moral of this story

Never stick a plunger on your bum

It might feel like a fun thing to do

But you'll only end up glum

Reviews

[Richard M]

I needed a good laugh George and this certainly did it! Can't stop smiling just thinking about it 😂 my eyes watery. Great story, excellent rhyming.

[George David Hope]

Thank you Richard for your review and kind words. It's great seeing peoples faces when we tell them about it. But my dad was surprised that it did stick to her.

[Onlyme]

Oh, George, this made me laugh. Naughty boy. This is awesome as well to enjoy. The poem, I mean. lol

[George David Hope]

Glad you liked it. It's a true story, happened about 35 years ago and is still retold at family parties to other guests who don't know about it

[Onlyme]

OMG George. You're the party piece..

[George David Hope]

My dad did it to my mam one Sunday night as they were getting ready to go out. The sink had been blocked and the plunger had been left upstairs in the bathroom. My mam was checking the bath water and it was too good and too big a target for my dad to ignore. She really was worried about going to hospital and what they would say and my dad refused to put a hole in it as it was a really good plunger

[Samuel Dickens]

Tsk tsk. Naughty boy. Something this hilarious HAS to be told at every gathering forever and forever.

[George David Hope]

Glad you liked it. It's a true story, my dad did it to my mam before they went out to a party when I was young

[cheyenne summer garcia]

this was so fun reading
I really enjoyed your work
my writing is less amusing but still give it a check !
thanks again
-cheyenne

[George David Hope]

Glad you liked it Cheyenne (what a lovely name you have). Based on what my dad did to my mam when I was only a young child before they went to a party