Splash The Ash

It lights my way; to me, a cure

But chain-link of some ‘said’ disease

Narcotic, fuming-scent, allure

But sure to bring me to my knees.

 

Crack the carton! Splash the ash!

Deal the tubes, and up & torch ‘em!

Read the science, do the math

Heed the warnings: die with caution.

 

The surge of life, it feeds me

With poison, but if need be

I’ll suck it up within this shell

My body, not soul, is going to hell.

 

Its spark is flamed by petrol

Its gas will kill me yet

It feels so good that I am mental

To smoke another cigarette.

Reviews

[Ruth]

lol
Yep, I sooo know that feeling! lol
Addiction can be cunning!
"My body, not soul, is going to hell."...I love this line!
xx

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

Splash the Ash! What a great title ..!
This is a funny poem with dire consequences ... caution .. oh those ciggies .. so addictive .. love love this verse:

Crack the carton! Splash the ash!

Deal the tubes, and up & torch ‘em!

Read the science, do the math

Heed the warnings: die with caution.

Love it Devons .. smoke up!

Chloe

I smoke , but only when i am alone or with someone ..

[just rose.]

I just talked to someone last night about how addictive smoking is and how I handled that by never starting. Yet we were driving to a store to get chocolate, so, clearly, the things that make us weak whether they are good for us or bad are a powerful lure. This is (I know you'll smile) quite classically written actually, in terms of syntax and word choice and the drawing in of grand themes - I love the majesty of the sentiments expressed about something ordinary - it shows not only the nature of addiction but of rationalization, and it brilliantly compartmentalizes the many small parts that make us flawed and human. It also demonstrates how the values of human experience come out of the quotidian choices that are ours to make, or not. Excellent poem!

[Truly Ross-Wisehart]

This is an excellent write. I think that you have descibed what many smokers feel inside extremely well. Very addictive, cigarettes. I have yet to come across the smoker that does NOT know how bad they are for the body, yet they smoke anyway. Makes me wonder why they even pick it up in the first place.

Quality work!

~True

[mope]

You manage to wryly twist the heedfulness and how we make tenuous justifications to form glamour where there is none - we all have a need to succumb to some forbidden fruit. A foul unjustifiable habit, but a good poem.

[Gomer LePoet]

Damn, do I miss smoking now! good one D- . its been 17 months and I crave one everyday.

[A.Lee]

This is really good. I see a lot of comments with people saying they don't like it because you're condoning it. Honestly, I don't see this poem being condoning of cigarettes. It feels like someone with an addiction who has said to heck with it! "It feels so good that I am mental / To smoke another cigarette". Just as it is with any type of addiction. You want that feeling so bad that you say screw all the warnings, I'll "die with caution". I liked the first stanza. I think you summed it up pretty well just in that alone. Nice work all together (as if you don't hear that enough!).

[Fran Marie]

It feels so good that I am mental

To smoke another cigarette.


Cigarettes are such a strong addiction; one of the hardest to quit and give up,I was a one- pak- a -day smoker, but finaly kicked it cold turkey,
your poem describes this controlling addiction with great accuracy

Well DonE!! I say!

[†im Smi†h]

I love the poem but still hate them cancer sticks