Dead City

A Chapter by Geodan

She woke up

She woke up in a cluttered room. She was laying in the corner, slumped over, and covered in dust. Her eyes opened, and she tried to stand. Her joints weren't rusty, but they were stiff. Fingers twitching, she looked at her wrist.
0
Zero. It was inked unto her plating and slightly faded. Who had put it there, she didn't know. She couldn't remember anything from before she woke up.
The room was new to her. She scanned the room, and determined that there was little oxygen. It was a good thing she didn't need oxygen. There wasn't any left. Surrounding Zero was an assortment of metal scraps and tinkerings. Across from her was a broken window. She slowly walked over to it and got used to moving. Her hydraulics hummed with every step.
Outside of the window, there was silence. It was creepy. The crumbling buildings showed no signs of life, and the world was empty. The only sound was the wind. It was a dead city. What had happened?

next chapter

© 2018 Geodan

Author's Note

This is my first time writing anything post-apocalyptic so reviews are appreciated.

My Review

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Reviews

Jack Harrow

Well done for actually starting the story in an active and interesting way rather than making me read massive chunks of exposition. now I'm not going to waste your time with compliments i'm sure you know what you did right so here we go.

I'm was really confused by the changes between first and third person perspectives mid paragraph. are there two characters or just zero? if there are then you need to explain who the other one is.

Also i think you can be more descriptive and technical in your descriptions of movement to really cement the fact that zero is a robot and draw the reader into the scene by for example saying "scanning the air zero noticed it was low on oxygen" or "her rusty hydraulics strained after decades of idleness".

Hope this helped and keep up the good work!