Identity

A Poem by HumanHotTopic

An identity struggle portrayed as a poem. WARNING: CONTAINS THEMES OF: SELF-HATRED

Lying on my side

Apathy is all that's left

Knowing I never tried

I roll onto my chest

Silently screaming for an answer

I put on my headphones

To them I'll always be a her

A feeling of decay now spreading through my bones

"What if I'm not a her?"

I whisper to those who wouldn't listen

I push my emotions down farther

And stuff them farther than they can be driven

As the beat blocks my thoughts

I sink into the lyrics

My heart tied in knots

The voices in hysterics

I know my gender

But I can't tell

I want to stuff my head in a blender

My thoughts putting my through hell

Are you dead?

"I wish"

The melody loses its grip on my head

My thoughts returning with a swish

getting whiplash from my thoughts

I turn the sound up

Hatred hitting me like shots

Why does my brain suck?

© 2022 HumanHotTopic

Author's Note

Hope you enjoy. Contains a line from This Is Home by Cavetown

My Review

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Reviews

Chris Shaw

It must be so debilitating to feel this way. Your words conveyed anguish and confusion. Identity appears to cause a crisis for many. You aren't alone. Thank you for sharing.

Chris

Posted 2 Years Ago

2 Years Ago

Thank you for reading. May you have success on your writing journey.

2 Years Ago

That is kind of you. I thank you. Same to you:)

Kat

I really like this write, I feel like I can personally understand where you're coming from when you wrote this. Thank you for sharing.! You're an amazing writer I hope you know that!
-K

Posted 2 Years Ago

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2 Years Ago

Thank you, you as well! can't wait to read more of your work!

2 Years Ago

thank you! may you have success on your writing journey.

Hannah

um . . . because apparently my last review didn't go through(?), I'll repeat it here and hope it works this time. Sorry!

This is written absolutely wonderfully. I can imagine the sort of turmoil this sort of situation can bring about. I've struggled with identity before - not quite at this level, though - and it can be so draining and terrifying. That final lines really hits the nail on the head