The World

A poem I wrote for all you eco-friendly writers out there.

The world in itself,
is a great ball of dirt.
Uncovered and naked,
it has not a shirt.

With its water so moist,
and land masses so dry.
It's a wonder so great,
why its people don't die.

The people on Earth,
are all villans of crime.
We sit back and watch,
as the forests resign.

They say we can't help them,
there's not enough time.
The life they once had,
they will revive.

If I had the power,
to save all the trees.
I'd quickly describe,
what it's like to not breath.

So stop killing the trees,
it's as simple as that,
Risking loss of our lives,
we should surely repent.

Life is to short,
to live on a whim.
So charish it, keep it,
and love all within.

Reviews

[DBURKE]

This is a great poem and it definately shows you care about our planet. I love the message and appreciate the content!

[ICE]

I loved the strong message behind this piece!! We've got to take care of the Earth so that it can continue to take care of us!! Great write.

~Ice

[Lou Evans]

It was interesting. I have some mixed feelings though. The first three stanzas were incredible (in my opinion). Everything seemed perfect, I loved the way all the words were weaved together. It had a strange beautiful quality to them. They are hands down my favorite part of the poem. But then afterwards, everything didn't seem as together nor was it as strong. Now, you were able to get your point across, which I'm guessing was your goal. So that's good at least. But I don't know how to really say it. It's not bad nor was it necessarily disapointing.

[Hollywood]

Amazing. If you haven't read my poem Mundane it is very similiar to this one. I love the topic & it's very well written.

[Stephen Scaggs]

Dear Bud,

The theme of this poem is a wonderful poem as I believe it is human beings that are to be guardians to this Earth and to watch it and protect it; unfortunately, many are irresponsible. No. I'm not pro-nature, nor am I anti-nature. I'd find it best to explain my stance in what Bob Dylan once said, "I am against nature. I don't dig nature at all. I think nature is very unnatural. I think the truly natural things are dreams, which nature can't touch with decay." Nature will take care of the Earth: they show you the ice caps that melt away, but they fail to show you the numerous ones that are growing in their places in the north pole. They show you how we clear cut the lands and take out all the trees but fail to show you all of the trees that are being planted. One small piece of grass has enough ability to give humans life as well as a tree has enough ability to give humans life as far as a whole town is concerned. We are melodramatic that nature is on the verge of a discoursing rapture; the Earth takes care of itself. But don't get me wrong, I cherish life and all the inhabitants therein. But the Earth will not be destroyed by human hands.

To the poem: It's relatively well written and good theme to write about. I wrote about it before: The Alive Earth. Check it out if you want to. Anyways, I found a few grammatical errors like on the last line "charish" is spelt "cherish." On the last stanza, life is to short should be life is too short. Remove commas when they're not needed like again, on the last stanza where you have a comma on the end of line one. (I'm picking on the last stanza 'cuz it's right above the writing review box, lol.) You don't need to have a comma at the end of every line or a period. Use semi-colons and colons when appropriate. This piece of poetry flowed really nice, but try to work on lengthening lines in future poems. You wrote with your head, and a little bit of your heart... next time write in a manner that you are expressing your point moreso than simply writing stanzas. This is why becoming a master poet is hard and is never truly achievable because we are not the author of words, we are only the people that pen them. Rhyme is really impressive and isn't forced. Overall = Good job :P. 9.6/10.

Sincerely,
S. W. Scaggs

[Taylor H.]

great poem!

[Crystal Rose]

Yes, this was very beautiful.
Everything flowed and fit so nicely together. Hopefully this will send a message to those who read it, great job.
:)

[Shannon]

*claps* beautiful greg. ^_^
There was definite flow to it, and the message was strongly projected. Bravo ^_^