Broken

Inspired by Broken-by Seether feat. Amy Lee, As well as Shannon <3

I see your limp body lying there
Strugglin to breath but without any air
The pain is almost to much to bear
Most people have never cast a care

But I am very different indeed
To lift you up I then would suceed
To steal away your pain without making you bleed
And only then will your sould be freed

There's so much left to learn
I really must discern
The content for which I yern
So that I don't geet burned

And even though you don't feel strong enough
You have to learn you gotta be tough
There's no one left to fight as rough
As what you did wwhen you pronouced your stuff

And now no longerbbroken in two
Because you've been mended with super glue
The worst of this war has now gone through
As the sun comes up and burns the dew

Reviews

[-TweetyBirdd.!-]

This might be my fav by you.(: Great poem.!
And howd u know i luv tht song.?? :D

[r]

nicely done! great work yet again

[snapstache]

This flowed very nicely!
Keep sending the requests! I love your work!
Great poem!
*.*

[Wicahpi]

Nicely done with only a few errors in spelling.
Overall a very good message enclosed!

[Taylor H.]

great poem! I enjoyed this!

[DBURKE]

There were a few errors- now that the bad parts out of the way_ I think this was an absolutely great poem. The inspiration is awsome. (Get up now and come out of the dark for the worst has passed over) Is the message I got out of this. A little brushing up and a pretty candy coat of paint and this will be a winner for sure!

[ICE]

The last line in the second stanza has a misspelled word. Sould should be soul?
You have some grammer that needs to be fixed. Other than that I thought that this piece flowed wonderfully. Great Job!!

~ice