Zorro, Freud and tumbling tresses

Hairdressers open again in the near future

In the not so distant future the great unwashed and hairy,
the boredom stained, unkempt masses
will descend in their droves to be shorn,
to have ill advised DIY grooming rectified,
so as to emerge into daylight once again normal.
(whatever normal may be construed as these days!)
Legions of "stylists" with muscle withered fingers
will, and with God speeding them, search for buried scalps.
With the skill and dexterity of Zorro,
scissors will be wielded to chatter at the speed of light,
their foe, hair, salt and pepper, ill maintained,
will fall victim, carpeting the floor,
as pine needles do forest floors during nature's grooming.
" Me, my, mine" tales will be told by each victim,
their inane drivel automatically activated as their couch potato,
cellulite pocked bottoms makes contact with the faux leather seat,
this causing the cutters to slowly but surely shutdown
whilst stirring in them their inner Pol Pot
and a yearning to cull, a wishing for a second peak,
lockdown, and a resumption of weekly therapy sessions
where homicidal tendencies are discussed (laying down)
with a bespectacled, middle aged man, who,
now comfortable in the presence of his young lady clients,
no longer averts his gaze when caught staring at ample cleavages,
instead ogling unashamedly, whilst often "adjusting" himself,
this adjusting releasing the sickly sweet scent of Eau De Ammonia.
BUT, these visits help, keeps national crime statistics down
and prevent further overcrowding of Her Majesty's hotels,
so the pulling, scratching, stretching of trouser front will be ignored
as will the lascivious ogling, for the foreseeable future anyway...

And so it will continue, day after long day,
cut, listen, take(money),
THERAPY SESSION,
cut, listen, take,
THERAPY SESSION,
until slowly but surely the unkempt masses are unkempt no more...

Author's Note

What do ya fink

Reviews

[Lorry]

Ha, brilliant Gee. From looking like a walking dead extra, back to the normality of being asked where you're going for your holidays... If they let us.
Unfortunately, still a few weeks to go up here before hairdressers etc allowed to open, but I'll be waiting a whili I think. I'm still in "Essentials only" mode and am in no hurry to get back to the hustle again.
Thanks to Youtube, I'm on my third home made haircut and am a bit impressed by it, so I reckon I'll survive a while longer.
I have noticed more and more people wearing hats though. Ameteurs 😀

[Gee]

Morning Lorry.
My daughter cuts mine, runs clippers all over, no way will I be going back to.pay some barking young bint £20 for 5 minutes work, unless :)
Cheers

[Lorry]

Ha, we're still in the past here, its only 8 quid. 😀

[Chris Shaw]

What do I fink? I am not one of the masses with a cellulite pocked bum :)) I have no intention of visiting the hair salon yet Gee. I will gracefully stand back and make way for all others. This is funny. I wonder whether it will be funny after all the pubs open today. Have you booked your table? Great Saturday morning smiler, this is.

Chris

[Gee]

Booked a table, not on your nelly. Pubs, car parks, streets will be full of booze up nincompoops. I take it you'll be out :))
Hope you are all well Christine.
Thank you

[Chris Shaw]

Grandson has suggested it, but it really is too early for me to feel comfortable. I'd be on the edge of my seat with my mask on. Doesn't seem worth it somehow :) A and E will be busy!!