Skinny Dipping Haiku

This is a Haiku series about...skinny dipping.

 

All day I waited

Finally the sun went down

And I snuck outside

 

Near the water’s edge

Pausing to look around me

Alone in the dark

 

Crickets invited

So I started to remove

Clothes that clung with sweat

 

With a sigh I dove

Beneath the cool dark surface

Smooth relief at last

 

Floating on my back

Gazing up at twinkling stars

What could be better?

 

 

Reviews

[The Scanners See Sound]

Doesnt a haiku 'anthology' of sorts, defy the essance of haiku?

From what I understand, a haiku is meant to capture a moment in it's purity; not tell a story.

Simply because of the fact that it took you 5 haiku to tell what should have taken one, seems to be counter-intuitive.

This is an entertaining poem, but not an effective haiku I think.

[THE LOST ROSE]

I don't like the fact that poetry style has rules. If you consider this haiku then this is haiku. I enjoy the imagery. This is short but packs a power. Very visual which is every reader dream. I look forward to reviewing more poetry from you. I have images in my head this morning that will cause me to write poetry all day long.

[Freder Fredersen (aka G..]

I'm not a purist. I enjoyed it. the voice is so in tune with the action....I think form fits function just fine here. Of course, I'm know to string a haiku chain on a whim myself.

ENJOYED!

Cheers!
G

[Jibey]

For me the haiku idea here is a red herring - what counts is that it works as a poem and has some form that helps it along. I liked the hesitation... the audience of crickets... and the reaction to the cool water - so understated... I would have been unable to resist describing the cool sensuality of it...:-) Lovely

[Lyrical Love]

I loved this floating haiku series! I thought of something like this and hadn't researched the idea. I am so glad to see how naturally pure this reads using one of my all time favorites (skinny dipping).

Kudos to you for your cleverness!

[Honeypot]

Faaraday Strange:

Yes, I'm quite sure that purists would cringe at my Haiku series. I take it that you are a fan of Haiku and therefore already know that Busho and Issa would be greatly displeased.

Buson on the other hand did write long Haiku poems where the Haiku is treated as a stanza. "Mourning for Hokuju Rosen" and "Song of the Yodo River" are two examples. This is where I get my very loose interpretation that my series is somewhat acceptable as I did research this topic before taking any liberties that were too offensive.

More recently Ryan Mecum wrote a wonderful book called "Zombie Haiku" where the entire book is written in a series of Haiku and was published by HOW Books in 2008. I highly recommend it if you like zombie stories.

The wonderful thing about poetry today is that anything goes whether it is very structured like a sonnet or uninhibited like free verse. I do enjoy traditional Haikus. Their simplicity and quiet humor are lovely.

Thank you for reading and leaving such a thoughtful comment.

[DanaRegen]

Thats one terrific Haiku, great job! Skinny dipping would be so refreshing, but thats not somthing for me. Nicely written Honeypot.

[Flow~]

Not many things could be better but some things would enhance the moment. I see haiku's are your specialty? I like words that paint vivid pictures and your pen drips with expressions.

[Nix]

You do the best haiku's!! How, I have no idea because I don't even attempt them! I love the topic, I think this is very you - a skinny dipping haiku! :) x

[Big ol' Kahuna]

Nice form and flow. I like the visualization of the whole thing. I think the end is the best about looking up at the stars from the water. Really very relaxing feeling poem.