Echoes of You

~Echoes of You~

Your ghost hides in the corners of our wrinkled sheets,

reaching out transparent hands to grasp at my foolishness.

I've never enjoyed swimming naked in guilt's sea;
it leaves me dripping remorse.
It appears death's formidable grip can trump a full hand
of indifference every time.

The mundane, repetitious days of our existence
held me in perspective as one
too ambivalent to shake his disembodied shoulders.

The scent of your demise, to me, seemed innocuous
fleeting and unable to bloom.

But flowers, I've discovered, are fragile things
that, in a short period of time,
will die from the slightest chill.

And I" unbelievably"
immersed in my neglectful, narrow corner
unable to sympathize or relate to simple needs
never noticed at all
your petals
falling one by one.

How often have men picked their flower in life only to ignore her later through the trials of marriage? Her tears like petals have fallen. Now, through her absence, he realizes too late, what he has done: Disregarded and Ignored his soul mate.

Your thoughts are always welcome.

Author's Note

Note to self: Changed the picture and a couple of words.


A quick note:

~~This is by far my most popular poem. And yet, it didn't start that way. Many young people are offended by advice or suggestions from others. They feel insulted that someone would critique their writing.

As for me, I came here not just to share my writing but to learn as well. If it wasn't for suggestions from Rick Puetter and Girl Friday (see below) I don't think the poem would have been as good. The poet Richard also helped me fine tune the poem and it is now--after all these years--(in my mind) complete.

We can always learn from other people as long as we know they have more experience and know-how than us.~~

Reviews

[MCS]

So raw
Words that hit home

[Relic]

Thank you.

[Tanner Kutchman]

A great representation of life, It is chilling how close to reality this poem is.

[Relic]

Thank you very much.

[Samuel Dickens]

Sad, regrettable, and beautifully written. These words really speak to me. I wish I could say more about this excellent work of yours, for it certainly deserves the highest praise.

[Cryingkate]

Wow ! and that's coming from a man I admire and highly respect.

[Relic]

Thanks very much Sam, I appreciate it.

[Lina Lotus]

...never noticed at all your petals... falling one by one. Unfortunately neglect seems to be part of human nature often recognized a bit too late. Wow this speaks volumes to me. The word selection provides great imagery.

[Relic]

Thanks so much Lina.

[Heart2Soul]

This moved me. We take so much for granted until it is gone. Tragic. Thank you for sharing.

[Amy Cowan]

It's so strong, I love the emotion conveyed!

[Relic]

Thanks Amy.

[MsJewel]

I love this even more the second time around...yes relationships are fragile, like flowers, needing tenderness and care to bloom - once wilted...never the same.
Stunning, stunning poetry

:) Julie

[Relic]

I appreciate that Julie, thank you.

[Shane Mohamed]

Well, it seems like both of us have done their ladies wrong... I admire the strong vocabulary; it shows you've got marvelous control over your pen. Some women are as fragile as flowers, and we as men tend to neglect and step them over; this is a good wake up call for all guys that read this, and a sublime praise for the females. Awesome write. Thanks for sharing.

[Relic]

Thanks for the review Shane.