Why me? 4

I now realise where this is all going. Number 4 in what are glimpses of my younger days, the days of my vanity.

Oh NO

Not again

Why me?

Why?

What have I done to deserve this?

Just for once

why can't anything ever go right?

 Whiff of tobacco 

boy falling in love with the dizzy feeling

 hooked.

First sip of cider and that warm glow

in his chest

mistaking it for the warmth of love

 hooked.

The fearful escape found in cannabis

 hooked

Acid weekends.

hooked

WHY CAN'T I BE NORMAL?

Guilt, guilt and more guilt.

Lying=guilt, stealing = guilt

deceit = guilt

wishing people dead = guilt

LOOK AT ME!

What are you looking at?

You got a problem?

Violence and more guilt

the increasing burden of guilt.

Disordered, calamitous, self centred,

hedonistic, a storm of insatiable desires

and confused emotions.

The man said, 'I can't get no satisfaction'

and he was right.

I can't get no joy

I can't get no peace

I can't get no wealth

Oh NO

I can't get no

love. 

I don't like me

I don't like you, or you, or you

and it seems you didn't like me

but you kissed me and you kissed me,

hooked.

Setting fire to the whole candle

was not the wisest move.....17 years and counting. 

Author's Note

Any guidance and advice would be seriously welcomed.