And IT arrives

Just a chapter from my book:)

He sat in a white room which had two doors. One to his right, the other to his left. The room was filled with emptiness except his presence and a chair, in which he sat. He sat there with his arms resting on his knees and his hands supporting his chin. His eyes were pointed towards the ground.

He was waiting patiently for it to arrive.

What was that it?

It was called just it. 

Time was just an illusion inside the room. Then, there was click on the door towards his right. He could feel a presence before him.

It had arrived.

He didn't lift his head nor did he utter a word.

It spoke. 

"So, you have made a decision?" It asked.

"Yes" He replied.

"You do realize that if you do go on this mission and do not succeed, you will lose it all. Don't you?" It asked again.

"Yes" He replied.

“You do not have the necessity to do this" It said.

For the first time, he lifted up his head and looked up at it, into its eyes and said "I insist”

There was a blaze in his eyes.

Then it realized, words lie, eyes don't.

“Everything has a price. If we are to grant you this permission. What is your bargaining power?” It asked again. 

"I will bargain with something that has always been mine and which none can take away from me without my permission, not even death, my heart " His reply seemed as if it was very well thought out.

“A person's heart is his source of power in that place. You will be powerless. What would you do?” It asked.

"I would survive from the power of the hearts of the people I surround myself with" He said.

“In that case, have you chosen well?” It asked.

"I hope so" He said.

Then there was a moment of silence. Then he felt it. A sense of emptiness inside him.
He realized that they had taken away his heart.

"You will have this same feeling till you exist in that place. The only way to have your heart back is to succeed. Remember that” It said.

He stood up and started walking towards the door on his left.

He stood before it and took a deep breath.

"So, what waits me on the other side of the door?" He asked.

"A lot of questions” was the reply from it.

He didn't turn back, but there was a tilt of his head towards the right and he said

"Take good care of it"

And he entered the door.

 

Author's Note

Thank you for your valuable comments.
Follow me on twitter @JDotTheWriter

Reviews

[Writer_next_door]

Ok, so you have an interesting story on your hands. It is fresh and gripping and well thought out it seems. You, however, can add more emotion, I think. To me it lacks an emotion one needs to be totally drawn into the story.
But overall it was well written and I look forward to reading more of it.
Well done, keep it up!

[Jerald Infant Jeyarethinam]

You are right Anne.. it lacks emotional connect to it.. Because you don't know yet the full story and at what part this chapter travels in the story... and once you know it... I hope you will be able to emotionally travel with my characters... thanks for the review:)

[Confuser]

Jerald I'm @BellaMelini on twitter: very, very rarely go there; will try to remember. The story is very interesting; in fact I am intrigued; great writing. I was wondering about all the questions in his mind: Had he chosen friends wisely; did he possess the love in his heart to do THIS? When he stood; and realized his heart was taken; how did he feel inside: actually thought about the Scarcrow (WOfOz): you had it all along; then for God know whatever reason, H. Lewis' song; she's heart & Soul: So I thought, the spirit and soul cannot be taken away. Anyway...Take the heart, wow, clever; it's interesting.

[Jerald Infant Jeyarethinam]

Thank you very much Bella:) I've followed you on twitter... I must say...I'm not a frequent visitor of social networking sites either... WOfOz is one of my favorite stories...thanks for referencing my story with it. I feel overwhelmed:)

[Confuser]

You're welcome & I will follow you....Dale

[NicholeHemstock]

This is really interesting and leaves a lot up to the imagination. There are so many possibilities as to what is next, or the context of the situation, I'm very intrigued.

[Jerald Infant Jeyarethinam]

Thank you very much nicole... I hope my further chapters satisfy your expectations:)

[Shubhangi]

"I would survive from the power of the hearts of the people I surround myself with" He said. so inspiring and thought provoking lines...nicely penned!
I have a smile on my face while reading this. :)

[Jerald Infant Jeyarethinam]

Thank you subhangi:) Your comment is putting a smile on my face:)

[Chain of Hearts]

Keep writing! I am so intrigued! This really needs to be published, after or before this book is finished!
I have at least 20 requests that people have sent me to read their poem/book/ etc...and I was trying to get through all of them, and decline the ones that looked to long etc., but when I started reading this, I couldn't stop!
Tip: Maybe though you could explain a little more: e.g.: When his heart is taken maybe you could explain a little more about it? For a second I had thought that he actually physically took it out, and I was like, 'wha?'
But other than that, it is very well written! So mysterious, love it!
Awesome job!

[Jerald Infant Jeyarethinam]

Thank you so much:) Keep a lookout for future chapters:)

[Chain of Hearts]

Yes, I sure will :D

[Jennifer]

Wow, this is captivating! If this were a book, I would buy it.

[Jerald Infant Jeyarethinam]

Thank you Jennifer:) When it eventually gets published..I'll send you one for sure:)

[Jennifer]

Thank-you :)

[Dayran]

It was the practice of the Aztecs ... to sacrifice themselves on the temple to the sun ... by having their hearts cut off from their bodies. In a metaphorical way we do the same thing ... and then to plunge into the solar rays of the physical world ... away from the passions that has become too familiar. Hope you have your shades on.

[Jerald Infant Jeyarethinam]

Your references to my story sometimes exceeds my story:P I envy you:P just saying:) thanks dayran:)

[shasha]

A very good idea and I love the story. But, I want more. Can I?

[Jerald Infant Jeyarethinam]

You will definitely Shasha:) patience is a virtue:P thank you very much for the support:)

[Deepika]

This kept my me on my toes..waiting to know what was it for which he bargained his life for!

[Jerald Infant Jeyarethinam]

wait for IT and IT will arrive :) thanks deeps:)

[Arshia]

This one really kept me hooked till the very last word! Very well written :)

[Jerald Infant Jeyarethinam]

Thank you so much Arshy:)