Sentinel

I watch the coffee percolate, then

drink it like a deluge in the desert.

Phantasm of equilibrium squints back

through the mirror of opprobrium,

to offer more misanthropic musings

from within a myopic miasma of misery.

 

Burnt coffee serves only to inumbrate

my outlook, like the dregs of a final shot

to an inebriated sage. A final lapse,

the penultimate attempt to transfuse

a semblance of sense into a senseless situation.

The empty bottle is my eternal sentinel.

Reviews

[Joiedevivre]

Brilliant and skillful.

[Pretty Faces Split Open]

Really interesting concept, amazing word choice. Love the last line.

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

Great words of expression on ones extreme dislikes! Worded in a strong understandable fashion of imagery! Excellent

[Poetic Beauty]

The last line is a very strong one, but this whole poem paints a scene of self loathing or rather loathing a situation that is out of the narrators control. This is done with great detail. Burnt coffee is never satisfying. It may give you the caffeine fix you need, but it isn't pleasing. Great details are poured into this piece with each new line.

[...]

. i wouldn't call these words "misanthropic musings" ... you are hardly ever "myopic" ... i'd say self-deprecating poets are probably the most poetic ... they write intensely felt intense poetry ... as is present right here ... a great read ... with excellent instances of alliteration ... my favourite is "a semblance of sense into a senseless situation" ... very profound and effective ...

[Starry Eyed]

Written well, descriptive too. Thanks for sharing, keep writing.

[Kelsie Eileen Stark]

Brilliantly written, ~~

[FemmeSpookyCorpse]

I love this piece, Jeremy! Its artistic beauty is a wonder to behold! Your equal balance of form and content is passionate and strong! I love your fantastic use of alliteration in the sixth line...very wonderful job! The descriptions within this piece could never be left to lay to waste...they're too vivid for that = ] Amazing work!

-Femme_Gothique (Brittany)

[Larry Dyson]

ok only metaphor im not seeing -feeling is this"drink it like a deluge "...it can hit like a deluge.."downing it and deluging my CNS wasteland"..just sayin' you work so hard at the S&M's of the poem..painting such vivid pics of the landscape of Your mind...that one just didn't fit to Me?..just sayin' ya' know?..Laury

[Victoria PoetryBunny]

nice write, love these first 2 lines especially:
"I watch the coffee percolate, then
drink it like a deluge in the desert."