A Sudden Rage

What happens in my mind when I'm angry, a rare event within its self.

     While she speaks to the man next to me from mere inches away, I watch her. Her golden hair, brown eyes. I've imagined kissing those lips, running my fingers through her hair, pulling her close against me so her body contours to mine. I can feel her curves beneath my hands, the soft skin of her waist under my finger tips. Indeed, she's beautiful, but what she's saying is vile. I feel her eyes on me again and I smile. I'm not sure how the expression turns out, since my lust has turned to disgust, but her lips curve into a smile to mirror my own and I know I've fooled her. While my mind refuses to listen to her idiocy, I decide to indulge on another fantasy, having tossed away the one from before she opened her mouth. This one is much more satisfying, indeed, and suddenly I'm trembling with it. I decide to let my rage go free. My hand reaches out and I take hold of her beautiful face. My thumb digs into her cheek and I feel the breath of her scream on my palm. The muscle in my arm is burning with use and I squeeze harder, wanting to feel the sweet satisfaction of exuded strength. Her hands encircle my wrist, desperately trying to push me away but she can't. I'm too strong. My once-caressing fingers curl into her skin and I'm rewarded with another scream. This time I vaguely realize it's my name, but I don't say anything back. 'I am Jack's raging bile duct'. The line slips through my thoughts and spurs me on, the unoccupied fingers of my other hand twisting in her hair. I grip golden silk and revel in it before pulling with all the strength used by my other hand. Strands snap from roots and she screams yet again, her body trying to fall to it's knees but unable to. I'm holding her up now. The man next to me has vanished and we're all alone in this world of white hate, my smile that had once charmed her now making her shudder. All at once I let go of her face and fling her away by the remaining strands of hair, another sharp cry ringing out as she hits the floor. I'm silent, suddenly spent. Drained. My eyes skim over the damage and I can't help but being a little amazed. Blood is smeared in the back of her hair from the abused roots and I love the colors.
"Jack."
I blink and tear my eyes from where they've drifted on the floor. She would've landed there. The muscles in my arms and back relax and I smile again, to which she smiles back. No shuddering. She isn't scared of me yet. The spell is broken and, strangely enough, I feel better. My fingers wiggle as if to shake loose strands of hair off and I check under the fingernails of my other hand. No skin. My rage induced delusion has helped and I feel myself relax back into my bored neutrality. I'm done with her.

Author's Note

This one is true. It's funny how you lust after a person then find yourself wanting to kill them.

Reviews

[Elizabeth]

Once again, your voice is clear and the narrative is whip smart. Watching the character's sudden outburst is satisfying. A voyeuristic thrill... At first I thought the fantasy was going in another direction and I was pleased by the surprise. Love the Fight Club reference. "My rage induced delusion has helped and I feel myself relax back into my bored neutrality" Yes, quite. This is outstanding.

[Jack The Rabbit]

Thank you, Sei. As usual, your complements are received with much love and gratitude. It was actually your piece that inspired this one.

[seirai]

Well, hello delusions!

I like the raw, actual violence in this of directing it toward a living thing. That is, until you bring it back much more gently to reality and show that didn't actually do what you had imagined. Of course, that is most likely reinforced by the way it's already expected to shift, as it did at the very beginning of this piece from lust to anger.

This is very good.