In My Solitude

In my solitude I am beleaguered
I am certain a hardened heart will be my reward
Daily I bare witness to others in love
Surely it is this which will be my undoing

Shadows of sorrow blot out the sun
Dreadfully dreary is this season of existence
I dare not call it life lest I be foolish
The damage rendered is undeniably irrevocable

Shrewd laughter comes from years of suffering
Clangorous cackling, a cynical symphony
Gleefully giggling in light of my despondency
Each sound, a reminder of the company I keep

Self-loathing is the garb of my choosing
Scattered scars incite spells of nostalgia
Yet I've digressed  beyond the unction of self-harm
Enlightenment has revealed it brings no lasting relief

Perpetually persecuted by lamentable loneliness
Cancerous is the deep rooted longing for love
Unworthy of companionship, my rankling revelation
In my solitude, I will wither away utterly