You.

You.

A Poem by SuicidePact.

You kissed me, when my eyes were closed.

You held me, we were fully clothed.

You touched me, when the feel arose

You loved me, when you felt it were right.

 You chose me; it was love at first sight.

You protected me, when I was caused a fright.

© 2012 SuicidePact.


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Reviews

Nice :)

Posted 12 Years Ago


i love the poem, but i have to disagree that there are no discernible technical problems.. you capture the feeling that the reader desires, however, there are grammatical errors throughout that almost obfuscate what you are trying to say, i dont want to sound negative at all, because i love this, but.. here is what i am trying to say, i will redo it but you dont have to change a thing if you dont want to (:

You kissed me, while my eyes were closed.

You held me, and we were fully clothed.

You touched me, while our feelings grow

You loved me, when you felt it to be right.

You chose me; and said "it was love at first sight."

You protected me, in my darkest fright.

just my opinion lol, and trust me my opinion does not mean too much (: again i loved it! -s


Posted 12 Years Ago


A well-written poem with no discernible spelling or technical problems. It's certainly simple and brief.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Simple, short yet very sweet. Good poem.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Short and sweet. I liked the flow the "You-" kept up. "You protected me, when I was caused a fright." This one sentence to me didn't make sense, but I still got the gist of it, which was good enough.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Very sweet

Posted 12 Years Ago


Oh my. This is just a lovely piece. :D It's so sweet and Prince Charming-ish. (:

Posted 12 Years Ago


Repetition I like it, it gives a unique feel to your poem as well as the rhyme scheme. Nice though Jenn

Posted 12 Years Ago


Nice poem, evoking emotion at a basic level and one which we can all relate to.

Posted 12 Years Ago


simple but very sweet. it captures how two people act toward one another in an intimate relationship with a person. very captivating :)

Posted 12 Years Ago



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777 Views
52 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on April 5, 2012
Last Updated on April 5, 2012

Author

SuicidePact.
SuicidePact.

Not telling!, SecretVille., Australia



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