Lies.

Lies.

A Poem by SuicidePact.

Heart pounds,

With heavy breaths.  

Significant sounds.

It’s the hidden test

I grasp for your knowledge,

Take everything that you’re given.

 Watching as your nerves take control.

Notice as you wipe at your sweated brow,

Nails dig into your unsuspecting flesh,

Lips are bitten by your very own incisor.

Tell me, what you’re thinking,

Tell me your pack of lies.

© 2012 SuicidePact.


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Reviews

The poem seems to be in the shape of a "b", which reminds me of how biting lies can be. Your descriptions, which grow a little longer with every line, reveal the unsteadiness which this person is experiencing. Despite their trying to save face, you see right through them. You've done a great job here.

Posted 6 Years Ago


This seems as your emotion. Very shot but meaningful.
Good job.

Posted 7 Years Ago


This is really...amazing. Full of so many emotions. Very nice.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Wow. This just totally blew me away. I can sense nervousness when someone's going to tell a lie. Very nice.

Posted 7 Years Ago


This is very easy to relate to. Everybody feels that way. Its very interesting. The last two lines are what I am going to be thinking about for now everytime I talk to people

Posted 7 Years Ago


Very interesting! I like that you didn't give us much to work with and yet we could understand perfectly.

Posted 7 Years Ago


This is wonderful -- full of feeling!! :)

Posted 7 Years Ago


I love the last two lines. They give a really good feel to the poem. Well written.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Like the details, the brows and the nails digging, well observed.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Good imagery of a nervous person obviously lying by the description.

Posted 7 Years Ago



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1153 Views
51 Reviews
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Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on June 19, 2012
Last Updated on June 19, 2012

Author

SuicidePact.
SuicidePact.

Not telling!, SecretVille., Australia



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